Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Confession: I am not good at maintenance.

This confession applies to many things. For example, I don't scrub out the fridge except in the summer. I just did it today, which is why I'm thinking about maintenance. I cleaned my oven two years ago ONLY because I won cook-for-me chefs in a charity auction. Laundry is OK, but dusting is horrible. I get pissed when I have to shave my legs (TMI, but it falls under this category) and color my hair. I don't vacuum my car. I also don't do so hot at publicity, which is really maintenance of one's writing career.

Maintenance ALSO implies that you own it/you bought it/you're responsible for it. Oh come on, can't I be irresponsible? For a supporting argument,please see this post. Clean ALL the things???


Some of my maintenance crabbiness is really just laziness. Some is skepticism (who sees the inside of a fridge?) and some is futility (I'll just have to get highlights AGAIN?? WOE IS ME!) Some is self-preservation (dear child, can you fix your own lunch SO I CAN WRITE AND GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF MY HEAD???).

On the upside, usually I am good at maintaining relationships. I write, I call, I e-mail, I FB (I don't Twitter much). I kiss my kid and husband good night every night, and I pay attention to them (except at lunch). I call my mom. All that other stuff is just that--STUFF. Step off, stuff.

I realize it does matter--people accept me better if I shave my legs. People will see me if I blog/Twitter/have a web presence (my publicist will like me better).

But please, oh please . . . don't make me maintain anything else today. The fridge was enough.

(Full disclosure: my lack of desire to maintain stuff frustrates the shit out of my husband. He is good at maintenance, and is an ace at housework.)

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