Kirstin Cronn-Mills

My 2012 writing resolutions

2011-12-30T12:49:00.006-06:00

Today is my birthday--yay for me! I love having a birthday so close to the end of the year, because I get double the new beginnings, and double the chance to make resolutions.

I've made a few for 2012, but several are too boring, strange, or gooshy to post on my blog. Since 2012 is the year of BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN, out in September (promo starting . . . now!), I thought I'd share the writing resolutions.

I tried on about sixteen, but I came up with two that seem possible.

Resolution #1: 329 days of NaNoBICMo
Many of you know that November is NaNoWriMo--National Novel Writing Month. Not possible for me. However, this November I decided I'd have my own event--National Novel Butt In Chair Month--I'd write or do something writing-related every day. And I did. FANTASTIC. When I let my writing career be a part of my daily life, it became something vital, instead of something I have to wait to do until everything else is done. People have called it a hobby and a time-waster, but it's not. It's my career, and it matters. And 329 days is 90% of a year, so I can have a couple days off.

Resolution #2: 365 days of trusting myself
Way back in my wayback days, I learned not to trust myself. Long story. Even now, as a grown-up, it's a hard position to shake. Consequently, my internal writing dialogue often goes like this: why aren't you writing characters that sell? Why aren't you doing more social media? Why don't you have a career like hers? Or his? What's wrong with you? Why aren't you producing a novel a year? Why are you even writing? Dumb. Hurtful.

This year I resolve to trust myself to write the characters I love and the stories I love, and have a career I love that's mine, not someone else's. I will not worry about Twitter or Google+ or Goodreads, nor will I call my work pointless, even if every single other kidlit author in this state has a NYT bestseller. I also will not give up hyperbole, because I am good at it. : ) But seriously, have you checked out how much talent is in the Minnesota kidlit community? Amazing people here, and they could all accomplish it, all at the same time, even. And then I would cry. But I still resolve to trust myself.

Trusting = relaxing. Enjoying. Having fun. Those things can only be useful.

Please share your writing resolutions with me/us! I'd love to know them, so we can all support each other. Happy 2012, and peace and love to all. Yes, there are hippies in my family tree.

Beautiful cake photo swiped from here.

Me and the Fail Whale

2011-12-02T10:49:00.009-06:00

In an online group I belong to, several writers are sharing their awesome fan mail--such sweet, kind, funny e-mails! It's so fun to write for middle-schoolers/teens, because their comments to authors are hilarious and frank and perfect.

Confession: I haven't gotten fan mail from teens. Just grown-ups, though the notes were fantastic, and since we've all been teenagers, it sort of counts, right?

Fail.

Then the Fail Whale came to mind. I've been thinking a lot about my books and my career, and feeling rather fail-ish as a whole. My books are about people our society would sometimes rather forget, which can be a problem if I want to make money, so I can teach less and write more. Should I try to write something more mainstream? I don't know. Should I write paranormal romance? Don't think I'm capable. Should I put my dream away?

The first illustration: it is me. I am dead on the shore.

Then I thought about what the actual Fail Whale is doing--he is FLYING. The Twitter birds (they're tweets?) are carrying him, because he is temporarily inconvenienced and he's too big. He is getting help from his friends! There will come a time when he is back in the ocean and swimming along. This is a *happy* picture instead of a failure.

Fail Whale says: shut up, quit thinking, and write. Let the good stuff carry you until you feel like you can swim again. Write the stories you want to tell. I'll find a way to do less teaching and more writing. I know, I'll become a swimsuit model! My middle-schooler will die of embarrassment, which is a bonus. Or I'll figure out something more realistic.

The notes from grown-ups are still fan letters, aren't they? People felt connected to my book, so they told me, and that's what I wanted when I wrote it. Maybe the fan letters from teens are still in the mail--maybe the Fail Whale birds are bringing them. I'll be hopeful.

(An aside: best comment ever about Twitter? When Stephen Colbert was asked if he'd used Twitter, his response was "I have Twatted." Love you, Stephen Colbert.)

Outlaw Boots, pair #11: Crissa-Jean Chappell

2011-11-21T07:59:00.015-06:00

What is it with outlaws and Chucks? They are friends to outlaws everywhere.

Welcome to a pre-Thanksgiving edition of Outlaw Boots! This month, I'm featuring Crissa-Jean Chappell, a fellow Fluxer, a fellow edgy YAer, and a lyrical, beautiful writer.

Her second book, NARC, will be out in the summer of 2012, and I am itching to read it. Here's the book summary:
Seventeen-year-old Aaron Foster was offered a choice--go to jail or turn undercover narc to hunt down the dealer trickling drugs into Palm Hammock high school. But Aaron has never been good at getting close to people. He is human wallpaper, a stoner wastecase obsessed with video games and "street magic." In the end, Aaron lies to everybody: his new friends, the tattooed punk, Skully Torres; and most of all, the wise, but troubled Morgan Baskin. He wants to believe it's for a good reason. As his attraction to Morgan grows, he finds it hard to tell if she's falling for the real Aaron... ...or the fake one.

Check out this fab cover art--I am partial to Flux covers, because they always do a spectacular job, and this one is no different.

Yes? YES. Triple yes. Crissa's first book is TOTAL CONSTANT ORDER, which I'm also anxious to read (ha ha, I made a pun, you'll see why when you check it out), and she's in the new anthology DEAR BULLY, with a poem that hurt my heart.

This is Crissa.

Want to know why Crissa's an outlaw?
Here's the video with the answers. WATCH IT. Crissa makes cool videos--and she's got a bunch on her site, so watch those, too!

There's one question not on the video, and because she's in Florida, she's got an answer unlike any other Outlaw Boots post.

--favorite outlaw food?

In my backyard, you'll find unusual trees. The gumbo-limbo sheds its skin like a lizard. The orchids smell like rotten meat. The carambola fruit is shaped like a star. Its five points represent vices (opium-smoking, gambling, etc.) Long ago, Florida pioneers made wine out of it. That's why it's my favorite outlaw food.

Here's a picture of carambola fruit--makes me hungry.

Check her out, friends. You'll have no regrets. And Crissa, if you read this, I apologize for the layout. : \ It's all whacked out and out of balance, and I know you're an artist. : ( Blogger and I aren't friends this morning.

THE FIRST TIME--and a prize!

2011-11-04T11:13:00.010-05:00

There's a new YA anthology in the world, and I'm in it! Check out all the company I'm in--it's a serious honor to be included. This anthology was born in the Debs 09 community on LiveJournal (we all debuted our first YA novels in 2009). They've been *so* much fun to hang out with--I've learned a ton, too.

What's the story about? A first time, of course. But it's also an epilogue to SKY--and it was harder to write than I thought. How do you write a stand-alone story with backstory that doesn't confuse a new reader? I hope it will satisfy those SKY readers who said "hey, that ending isn't fair! I want to know more!" Now you do.

The basics:
-------

You never forget your first...

In THE FIRST TIME, 25 young adult authors contribute 25 stories all about firsts: first loves, first kisses, first zombie slayings, and more. Featuring New York Times bestselling authors Carrie Ryan and Jessica Verday, plus a host of others. From humor to horror, and everything in between, these stories will make you laugh, cry, cheer, (and maybe even scream) as you experience something brand new from the authors that you love.

Contributing authors include: Cyn Balog, Lauren Bjorkman, Leigh Brescia, Jennifer Brown, Kirstin Cronn-Mills, Janet Gurtler, Teri Hall, Cheryl Renee Herbsman, Stacey Jay, Heidi R. Kling, C. Lee McKenzie, Saundra Mitchell, Jenny Moss, Jackson Pearce, Shani Petroff, Carrie Ryan, Sydney Salter, Kurtis Scaletta, Jon Skovron, Kristina Springer, Rhonda Stapleton, Charity Tahmaseb, Jessica Verday, J. A. Yang, and Lara Zielin

Get it from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-First-Time-ebook/dp/B006151SD6/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1320174664&sr=8-7

Get it from Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-first-time-jessica-verday/1107030973?ean=2940013227989&itm=4&usri=jessica%2bverday

If you don't have a Kindle, you can still read this eBook on your phone, computer, iPad, e-reader, etc. Just grab the Amazon Kindle app here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=sa_menu_karl3?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

If you prefer the Barnes & Noble Nook app, get it here: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/free-nook-apps/379002321/?cds2Pid=34593

------
See what I'm saying? Look at all that linked goodness up there (whew, that took a while). It's an honor.

So what's the big prize? Read Morgan's story and be the first person to comment here about the landmark she's looking for. If you're first, you win a signed copy of SKY *and* a signed copy of BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN when it releases next year. Yes, I'll remember to send it to you--I promise!

I'm excited about this one. It was nice to return to Morgan, Rob, and Tessa--though the story didn't happen the way I assumed it would. And yes, for those of you who are curious about the real-life details in the story, I did do what Morgan does, just without the landmark.

Check it out!

Outlaw Boots, pair #10: Steve Brezenoff

2011-10-28T13:40:00.010-05:00

YUUUUUUUUUUU GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZE.

(Yes, hello and welcome to another pair of Outlaw Boots, but you guys! You need to know this person!)

This is Steve Brezenoff, fellow YA writer and good man all around. I like this picture, because you can see him. Usually he hides under a baseball cap. He wrote a book whose concept is so simple and so complex it blows me away.

That book is BROOKLYN, BURNING, and it's gotten rave reviews. The short synopsis is this: Sixteen-year-old Kid, who lives on the streets of Brooklyn, loves Felix, a guitarist and junkie who disappears, leaving Kid the prime suspect in an arson investigation, but a year later Scout arrives, giving Kid a second chance to be in a band and find true love.

That synopsis might be true, but the book is waaaaaay more incredible than that. And even though I'd rather let the book reveal it for you, the premise is too cool not to share: Kid and Scout don't have pronouns. Isn't that GREAT? You spend the entire book not knowing if Kid and Scout are hes or shes or zhes or hirs or another kind of human entirely. PHENOMENAL. And imagine trying to write it. Yeah. Not knowing a character's gender spins a narrative (especially a love story) in so many new directions I don't know where to begin. Basically, I'm jealous of the idea, and his lovely writing makes the idea even more profound--and profoundly beautiful.

All of this is to say Steve Brezenoff wears Outlaw Boots. Here's why:

--Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
I think every one of my characters has broken plenty of laws. But Kid’s the biggest outlaw, despite not being guilty of the central crime.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
In the general sense, I hope my fiction is iconoclastic enough to pull me along with it into some respectable level of outlawness.

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character)?
Checkered Vans, just like Scout, and Scout’s an outlaw as much as Kid is.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Ninja, because my book of the moment is AS King’s Everybody Sees the Ants, and it’s got outlaw kindness ninjas and they rule.

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
The hours.

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
I bet a purely outlaw character would be vegan. Hail seitan.

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Butch Cassidy. You thought I’d say Holden Caulfield, didn’t you?

You need to pick this book up, friends, but start your Steve Brezenoff reading extravaganza with THE ABSOLUTE POWER OF -1, Steve's first book. Now go!

Audience

2011-10-14T08:47:00.003-05:00

As writers, we think about audience, especially if we're kidlit writers. To me, a YA audience seems complicated: does one F bomb make a book inappropriate for 12-year-olds? What about two? Is a trans guy appropriate for 13-year-olds? The answer, of course, depends on the audience members. One dad might be OK with his 12-year-old reading an F bomb. One mom might not be. A writer can't worry about that stuff, at least not right away. It is life-threatening to your story.

How this picture relates: I have wanted purple hair for a long time--a LONG time--and now I have some, and I love it. Kid likes it, husband is neutral. Friends? Nobody will care. The question is my work audience. My boss's boss will assume I'm a bad influence (he already does), my boss won't care, and my students will laugh or make fun of me. Any/all of that is fine. It's my hair and I like it (it's slightly Rainbow Brite, for those of you who remember her, but that's OK). Don't trust my abilities anymore because of my hair? Your loss.

If you grew up in a house like mine, audience awareness was key--you learned it before you learn to read, because the grown-ups were unpredictable and you had to be on guard. As a grown-up, that ability to read the room is very useful, but it's also dangerous when there's no threat. Being on guard all the time is harmful.

Same with writing. If I'm thinking audience all the time, my book becomes someone else's book, because I'm writing for their expectations. I don't want that. If I write the book I love, an F bomb in the wrong place won't jinx things. And if it does, that person isn't my audience. I'll find my peeps somewhere.

Same with purple hair.

Musical/visual thinking

2011-09-16T08:28:00.003-05:00

I have nothing to say, but I want to post two videos. One is a YA novel I wish I'd written. One is how I feel about writing YA, though the percentages are wrong for me (there's way more pleasure in writing/publishing than these guys think).

First video: Lupe Fiasco, "Kick Push," 2006. Seriously, it's a YA novel in 4:45. Love it to death.

Second video: Fort Minor, "Remember the Name," 2005. Like I said, the percentages are wrong, but the feelings are the same.

All-day editing session? No problem. I'm inspired.

Left out of the library

2011-09-02T09:16:00.006-05:00

This week I went to visit a book club here in my town--I love book clubs--and one member told me my local library didn't have my book. Then she apologized for getting my book from the library, which was sweet. I told her I understood.

Here are some facts about my local library:

1) if I could throw a rock half a block, I could hit them. They're down the alley from me.

2) I've been there twice (3 times?) in the last two years, asking if I could do something with them related to SKY.

3) I know the librarian by name. We worked together a long time ago on a committee. She might not remember me, but that's OK, BECAUSE I SHOVED BOOKMARKS AND CONTACT INFORMATION IN HER FACE. TWICE. (sorry)

4) We have tons of fantastic local authors, and librarians are good at supporting them, as far as I know.

5) They're a really great library--new and clean and well-stocked.

6) Money is tight, and you have to pick and choose. This is reality.

7) This kind of thing happens all the time to writers--so what?

I always wonder if it boils down to girls-kissing-girls-we-don't-like-it-go-away, though it does say "I hate being a secret sex fiend" on the back of the book, so that may have freaked them out. BUT, if THEY'D READ THE BOOK, they'd get it. Or maybe it's not the content. Maybe they forgot.

I've been pondering prejudice and discrimination for another project (applying those critical thinking skeelz), and there is really no logical reason for prejudice to exist. Humans are just afraid of silly stuff.

Maybe the librarian is afraid people will start shouting things on the library patio, like Morgan shouts, or girls will hold a kiss-in. Those moves could be a big mistake--the library is across the parking lot from the police station, and someone could come out and give you a ticket. Though I do like the idea of getting a ticket related to a book. That's badass.

This is the second time I have been politely dismissed by a library I've approached, and librarians are people you want on your side. And it's OK--truly--there are other libraries out there who like me, and I am mucho appreciative.

My book isn't for everyone. But please, kind librarian, let patrons decide. I live on your street, and I want to be there for someone who wants to find me.

Dear Old Flame--the letter I'd write if I knew his address

2011-08-19T13:13:00.007-05:00

Dear Old Flame:

I saw you not too long ago, and I'm not sure if you saw me. Maybe you were pretending not to see me. But then you were gone, and I was sad, because I need to tell you stuff.

First--how are you?

This is awkward.

Okay.

I could say a million things, but they'd boil down to "I'm sorry I broke up with you by ignoring you. I was young and dumb." We had a long history together, and you deserved better. I've thought about you often, even though breaking up with you was the right thing for me. I know you have a son (two sons?), and I know you're divorced. I've been married for eons, and I have a son, too. Are you still funny? You were a hilarious, goofy guy, and you were so good for me. I've heard that now you're angry and sad. I hope that's not true.

Mostly I need to thank you and send you royalties. Remembering you allows me to write that gooshy, smooshy part of YA that is lust, longing, and sadness, all in a big lumpy ball. Without our up-and-down, crazy stupid love I could never have written Morgan and Rob and Derek, or Callie and Ray. In payment for this very handy repository of boyfriend drama, I'll send a check once a year for $1.398. That's 15% of what I make.

I really did love you. It was just young love that doesn't know anything.

I hope you can get happy again. I hope you have a long life. Every year on your birthday, I wish you a happy one. And you were a great kisser.

With much appreciation,
Kirstin

(drawing by Banksy. I love you too, Banksy.)

Outlaw Boots, pair #9: Amy Tipton, Signature Literary Agency

2011-07-29T06:58:00.002-05:00

For the one-year anniversary of Outlaw Boots, I decided to invite one of my favorite outlaws over, the infamous Amy Tipton, of Signature Literary Agency. Amy is my agent, and I am incredibly glad. Why? She doesn’t think my ideas are cracked, but she reminds me to keep it simple. She is honest and straightforward, no bullshit. She has mad editing skills, and she makes my books 105% better. Besides all this, she survived a stroke, and came back stronger than ever. And—of course—she is Just. Plain. Cool. It is an honor to be her client.

Those are Amy’s boots, with Amy in them (photo by her husband Ed, an amazing professional photographer). Before Amy was my agent, I saw those boots on another blog post, and I thought, “wow, who is funky enough to wear Evil Knievel boots, especially to work?” Now I know.

If you’re interested in Amy’s likes and dislikes as an agent, check her out here. If you’re interested in the cool books her boot is resting on (clients/former clients), look for Ed Glazar, Marci Blackman, and Michael Greene (BIKE NYC), Amy Reed (BEAUTIFUL and CLEAN), Courtney Summers (CRACKED UP TO BE, SOME GIRLS ARE, FALL FOR ANYTHING), and Victoria Schwab (THE NEAR WITCH).

It will become quite clear why Amy is an outlaw, so let's get to it.

Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
First question and I'm already thrown for a loop! Addie Pray (in the book Addie Pray, also from the movie Paper Moon) because she really is the ultimate outlaw--conning suckers out of their money during the Depression. Heartless! But she makes up for it because she's funny and has a unique worldview, she's a child so she's kind of sweet and innocent; Addie was once described as a female Huck Finn and that's very fitting.
Scout Finch (from the book To Kill a Mockingbird) also has a unique perspective on life; like Addie she is wise but also still just a kid.
Ramona Quimby, OMG I want my child to be just like her!

Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
I am a social outlaw--a rebel, a total nonconformist.

What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
I always picture a teenage punk rock girl with ripped tights in 20 eye Doc Marten boots.

Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Ninja, for sure. Because I just read Paper Towns by John Green on a road trip and the saying "I'm a ninja" was used right when the car ran out of gas on a Cincinnati highway--about 10 miles from the hotel. My husband was driving and singing along to music, I was reading, and neither of us were paying much attention. (We've been on tons of road trips and this has never happened.) Of course, I left my phone at home (which I don't do) and am in a wheelchair. Traffic is speeding by. Ed, my husband, doesn't want to leave me--no phone, can't walk, cars zooming past--so he grabs my wheelchair, abandons the car, and pushes me on the side of the road, under an overpass, to an exit. (My chair is rattling--it's not really made for that.) I am gripping the wheelchair arms and tasting dirt as cars speed by and the whole time I'm thinking, "I am a ninja" over and over.

Best thing about being an outlaw:
Living the life you want, the way you want; being happy and not caring what others may think.

Favorite outlaw/badass food:
I love burritos, spicy salsa, guacamole, and chips ... But I'd totally have my outlaw character eat sweets and carnival-type food like corn dogs.

Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Badass role models have to be my BFF and my mom. They are two fearless, strong women and I admire them both very much. I also have to give my husband credit. I like to think I'm a badass but he's the real deal--I'm badass by association though. But in books ... Nancy Drew. A role model? Definitely. A genius? Uh, yeah! An outlaw? Well, technically she works for justice and the law but being a teen girl sleuth makes her one tough chick and I would consider her fearless, I admire her tons.

I know clients are supposed to love their agents, but I'd want to be her friend outside of the publishing world, because I admire her outlaw spirit. She's my role model! If you're in the market for an agent and you're an outlaw too, check her out. You won't be sorry.

My feelings, They Might Be Giants style

2011-07-28T08:06:00.004-05:00

I have to go to school today--not bad in and of itself, but I want to make friends with my new book. WAAAAAAAH! So, I thought I'd let TMBG express my feelings (from their album NO (2002), best kids album *ever*). First song: how I feel about school. Second song: how I feel about writing.

Literary genius seeks 4th grade writing assignment

2011-07-27T13:46:00.008-05:00

I found this story of mine in my dad's things after he died. It's hand-written on notebook paper, a school assignment, and why he saved it, I have no idea. I wasn't intending to be a writer when I was in 4th grade. If you'd told me I was going to write novels, I would have looked at you like you'd said I was going to grow wings.

It's rather Hemingway-esque in its simplicity, and I present it to you as written, complete with ellipses, time shifts, and crazy exclamation points.

Hopeless

A man. A half dead man. The man was on an island. he hadn't intended this. He was on a boat, a big boat. It had wrecked here, here on this island, killing everyone but him. How he hated this place!

There was a small piece of the boat left. He was someday, someday, he was going [to] use it to leave, and he felt the time was now!

(later)

He was out on the ocean, waves tossing and turning. Sharks were all around him. He felt so hopeless.

Suddenly all was still. The waves stopped. The sharks left. It was like someone had turned it all off. He was gone. Gone to a world with no pain . . . no hurt . . . . . . . . . . gone . . . gone . . . . . . . . .

by Kirstin Cronn

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(What drama! What exposition! He felt the time was now!)
(Seriously, it's OK to laugh. I was a hyperbolic child. And sharks? In Nebraska?)
(Thank heavens for revision.)

Gender goes to the movies

2011-07-26T12:30:00.003-05:00

When I was working on BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN, I did a *lot* of studying about gender and how it's expressed in our culture, especially as it relates to trans individuals. What a wild subject! You've got to add up brain structure, chromosomes, hormones, cultural messages, and messages from family, and after you have a total, you throw it in the air and see what happens. Complicated.

But how does this relate to TRANSFORMERS movies? Many ways. This summer our Transformers movie option is TRANSFORMERS 3: DARK OF THE MOON. As you know, women are *not* the target audience for this film. Here's my 13-year-old son and his buddies talking about it:

Kid 1: going to see DARK OF THE MOON?

Kid 2: probably not

Kid 3: It doesn't have Megan Fox.

Kid 2: yeah, who wants to see it if it doesn't have Megan Fox?

Kid 1: Yeah. She's way hot.

And, here's me talking about the first TRANSFORMERS movie (while watching on TV):

K: Isn't Bumblebee a sweet transformer? Look at his face--he's just sweet. Kind. It's the eyes.

(I swear to you I said this. So weird. "Sweet"?)

Two unscripted ideas about Transformers. Or was the scripts written for us by the list of stuff up above? You decide. But you would NEVER want someone like me promoting a film about robots that are also vehicles who can destroy or save the planet, not when I call them "sweet" and "kind".

(Gender is weird but fun. And look at Bumblebee's eyes. Doesn't he have kind eyes?)

(I still want a muscle car. But that's another post.)

Books = safe learning. Duh.

2011-07-25T10:05:00.003-05:00

There was a huge kerfuffle this summer in the YA community, prompted by this article about why YA is too dark (to paraphrase). People got way upset, and lots of really smart people replied, including my literary crush Sherman Alexie (please have babies with me, Sherman!). I stayed quiet because I had nothing extra to add.

BUT--this weekend I thought of something to say. I'm sure it's already been said, but it came home to me again.

My time has been free enough this summer (oh, blessed free time) to read. And I've been LEARNING! Whoa, from a *book*? A fictional, made-up-ical book? YES. Not even nonfiction--from a story! Whoa. Deep. That's what I think folks like accuser-of-darkness Meghan Cox Gurdon forget--stories (books as a whole) are a safe way to learn things. In fact, friends and neighbors, books were a primary way to learn things before we had radio, TVs, film, and the World Wide Wonderfulness! Revolutionary!

Let's emphasize "safe" for a moment. This weekend I was inside Amy Reed's fantastic new book CLEAN, and I learned a ton about rehab. I knew a little bit, from traveling that journey with a loved one, but now I know even more. If another loved one needs rehab, I'm better prepared. And I didn't have to go to rehab to experience it (Amy Winehouse, poor soul, could have learned from CLEAN).

Another example, one Gurdon used: self-injury. Teens might self-injure if they read about it! My take: if I read about it, I can safely learn about self-injury without having to self-injure. If I self-injure *because* of a book, I was at risk for it anyway. The book didn't push me over the edge. Yes, I believe this.

What else have I learned lately? In LET THE GREAT WORLD SPIN, bestest grown-up book ever, I am learning how to be a black prostitute in 1970s New York. From CHASING ALLIECAT, I learned how to bike up hills more easily--probably one of the most practical things I've learned lately, since I'm learning to bike for distance. And I learned what it's like to race DOWNhill. Scary business!

In the 19th century, families sat around oil lamps and learned about how to harpoon big white whales, or Uncle Walt's astoundingly chatty catalog of life's details. Why is it any different with teenagers in the 21st century? Books are safe. You can put them down when they're too intense. I'd rather have my kid learn about kidnapping from a book than have him learn it from real life. Yes, you can learn to build a bomb from a book. But you were intending to do it anyway, or you wouldn't have looked for a book about it.

Rant over. But that was a fun one.

Pride post/rant post

2011-06-30T08:28:00.006-05:00

Here are some things that PISS ME OFF:

1) abuse of power
2) abuse of power
3) abuse of power

Also: 4) discrimination, which is abuse of power, and 5) violence, which is also abuse of power

You get where I'm going with this.

I bring this up because it's Pride month (the last day of), and because I write books with LGBTQ themes (novels #1, 2, and 4). Also because I have heaps of friends and family in the community, so it's a community I support and love and have fun with.

Also, even more importantly: there is no good reason NOT to be an ally.

Seriously, friends--show me one good reason. One founded, considered, critically thought out reason not to be an ally to this community--or any other community that can benefit from your support and love. We are in this together, people. Be supportive. If you believe in humans, if you like being a human, if you like other humans to be happy, be an ally--to anyone, to everyone.

AND--put your allied thoughts into action, and get out there and do allied things. Go visit the Stonewall Inn (see above) and feel the importance of the history there. Or do something local--go volunteer at a shelter where LBGTIQ youth hang out--did you know the suicide rate in teenagers is HIGHEST among this population? Or something even smaller--go smile at your mail carrier. S/he might not be LBGTIQ, but it's a way to start a chain of good things.

Rant over. Happy Pride! And yay for New York and Rhode Island!

Outlaw Boots, pair #8: Geoff Herbach

2011-06-24T09:44:00.011-05:00

Friends, meet Geoff Herbach. I made his acquaintance in April, and I was thrilled--I had no idea we had another YA writer in the community (he teaches at the local four-year). He is a cool dude, so I liked him immediately. Then I had the honor of serving on a panel with him at a local literary conference, and by then I was sure he wore Outlaw Boots, so I'm thrilled to have him visit today.

This is Geoff.

This is his book--a boy book! Yaaaaay!

What’s STUPID FAST about? From Geoff’s website: “It’s about a boy. It’s about sports. It’s about being a serious dork. It’s about a paper route. It’s about bullying and the opposite. It’s about a girl. It’s about hair growth. It’s about a little brother. It’s about piano. It’s about a depressed mother. It’s about learning to be who you are. It’s about not hiding.”

This book is right up my alley--and my kid's alley, too. Geoff’s adult book, THE MIRACLE LETTERS OF T. RIMBERG, is also on my to-be-read pile, but STUPID FAST is first. More info about the book is here. And there’s a sequel coming next year! Awesome. Both me and my kid will be grateful.

Without further ado, here's why Geoff wears Outlaw Boots:

Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
13-year-old Andrew in Stupid Fast. He burns all of his clothes, shaves his head, and dresses like a pirate!

Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
I shoplift! Just kidding. I write what I think is important, even if it's rough.

What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
I had some badass combat boots that I wore through college. The fell apart. Now I wear speedy track shoes.

Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
I would like to be called Geoff the Perplexing and I'd like you all to see me in the coffee shop and to know I'm staring at you.

Best thing about being an outlaw:
Freedom to be as I am, which makes being a freak feel fine.

Favorite outlaw/badass food:
Old School Tacos: Hard shell, seasoning packet, wild-ass cheese all over the place!

Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Kurt Vonnegut. That guy said eff-you to everyone who deserved it, but remained the kindest soul on the planet. Perfect.

My copy arrived about fifteen seconds ago--the post dude just rang the doorbell. Something to read this weekend! Check out STUPID FAST today, and buy one for a young guy who reads. He'll thank you.

Anthology cover!

2011-06-22T08:23:00.004-05:00

So, friends--here's the cover of the Debs 09 anthology, out as an e-book later in the year. Look at the author list! Some seriously amazing writers. I feel very blessed to be included.

I also want a dress like this, and a field to goof around in, though I'd probably keep the dress and the field separate. Imagine the sticks and crap that would get caught in the skirt. : \

What's amusing me is this: I keep wondering what Morgan would be wearing if she was sitting on that fence: flip-flops, cut-offs, a t-shirt, and a scowl, or at least a smirk. Not very glamorous. I hope the anthology editors (the wonderful Jessica Verday and Rhonda Stapleton) don't mind her snarky presence.

It's been challenging to write an epilogue to SKY--way more challenging than I expected. I'm getting happier with the results as I go along. Short stories are *hard*. Yowza. Novels have a lot more room to wander around in.

Look for the book in the fall!

Outlaw Boots, Special Edition: Girl with Fuzzy Yellow Slippers

2011-06-03T12:07:00.004-05:00

Please know this is not a slam. It is an observation.

I am currently listening to a NYT-bestselling YA (movie rights optioned, I just read), and I'm out of my depth. Good writing, some interesting action, but so far, this book is about virginity, roses, and matching tank tops. One girl drives a Range Rover. It may have gotten to be a NYT-bestselling YA because of the reasons above, which is cool, and it does have a cool premise. But it just doesn't resonate for me.

The narrator is rambling on about popularity right now--we know it when we see it, right, like a lazy eye or porn? (said with upward inflection, of course) She and her besties can get away with stuff, she says, like wearing fuzzy yellow slippers to school.

And I thought: that's the difference between my characters and these characters (aside from the Range Rover and the matching tank tops). My character would wear fuzzy yellow slippers because they mattered to her. She'd do it because they were her grandmother's, and she misses her, or because they were comfy, or because she's depressed as hell and they help her feel better. She'd do it because she would. She'd be COMMITTED to those goddamn slippers, and they wouldn't be "ha ha, look at me aren't I cute?" wear. They'd be part of her.

I'll keep listening, and maybe I'll identify more as time goes along, but I know the book wasn't written for me. I believe in quirk, weirdness, the indie spirit, and funk music. Because of those things, I may never be a NYT-bestselling author. Fair enough. I don't write about popular girls because I wasn't one, and I can't identify. I am the fuzzy yellow slipper-wearer, and I'm OK with that.

Place/people/pondering

2011-05-26T08:43:00.003-05:00

For me, place is like a vine growing up through my life--the foliage is thick and it's always a tangle, but it's lush and constant, with the taproot anchored deep inside me. Other places can branch off the vine, but there's only one root. I think about place a ton, especially when I travel, even if it's only 100 miles from my house.

I live in Minnesota, and I love this place: awesome state to raise a kid, lovely scenery, great standard of living, etc. However, for the last six days I've been at the taproot--the edge of western Nebraska. It was time for my dad's auction, and that was hard but all right, but I didn't feel sad about him, at least not much. It was the place that made me hurt. What do you mean there's no reason to come back? Eeek. Tears. After all the stuff got done in my home town, I headed out to the west-West, the covered-wagon West. There was business to do, but it was mostly to return to the taproot of the taproot.

I discovered, way out there, that my great-great and great grandparents have the words "pioneers" engraved on their tombstones. Like covered wagon pioneers (btw, that's the Scotts Bluff National Monument in that photo, very cool, go visit). I've known this all my life, but it just hit me on Tuesday: people in my bloodline left their homes somewhere else to go live on a flat plain with these big, weird rocks sticking up. They yanked up their ivy and replanted it in Banner County, Nebraska. What the hell for? A new life. But what kind of life was it?

As I was sitting in the cemetery where my pioneer ancestors are buried, listening to the prairie dogs chirp at me to get the hell off their land, I pondered the space and silence. I wondered how many pioneers went crazy from all the quiet. I wondered how many of them re-read the two books they'd brought--or the 200, maybe, a covered wagon full of books. And contact with other people--how did anybody get mail (by Pony Express, I'd guess)? How many days did it take to get to a town, or to a neighbor's house? Those were strong people--a zillion times stronger than I am. No wonder the word "pioneer" means "groundbreaker" and "first of their kind". Even though I'm not that sturdy, I like knowing I'm descended from that stock. It gives me hope to be that brave.

Maybe it was the energy of the place that kept them there. The vibe in western Nebraska, even on the edge of it, where I'm from, is different. It's spacious and calm, almost like the atoms of everything are less connected. The prairie, where I live now, is dense and compact, and the atoms scurry around at high speeds. Out West, things are slower. More independent. More open. Maybe my relatives came for the free land and stayed for the fact that nobody bothers you out there. Don't know.

Love you, Minnesota, but I'm moving home someday.

Pick up the joy

2011-05-13T13:32:00.006-05:00

An actual phone conversation, me in Minnesota, other voice 485 mile away in NE:

Kirstin: Hi, my name is Kirstin, and I'd like an estimate on a whole-house cleaning plus carpet cleaning [for my dad's place, after his auction].

woman at Servicemaster, not in my hometown: Could we start with your name?

Kirstin: K-I-R . . .

woman: I know you.

Kirstin: You do?

woman: I used to work with your mother, and I used to babysit you. You sound just like your mom. I heard about your dad, and I'm so sorry.

The world is a small place--and this is the millionth time it's been brought to attention. This time around, it was me she knew. When it happened a couple weeks ago--when I called a *freaking 800 number* to change the gas payment--the woman who answered was a student of my dad's. Nebraska doesn't have a lot of degrees of separation, but still. What are the freaking odds with an 800 number?

So--after this kind woman helped me out, I talked to my husband, like really talked. We don't get to talk, because our lives are nuts. Then I saw an orchard oriole and his mate in my tree--not your everyday bird, and really beautiful besides. Then I planted flowers and filled bird feeders and ran on my treadmill (hope my boss doesn't see this post--I think today is a duty day). Other joyous things? I don't have to grade papers for three months! I get to be a writer now, and I have tons of great projects to work on. I adore my agent, my editor's thinking about my next book, and my fingers can type. My husband and child are healthy, I have amazing friends and family, and the world is still here (though it may end on May 21, beware).

It's so easy to get lost in the craziness. I do it too much. For today, I'll put down the problems and pick up the joy.

Diversity in YA Fiction--smart people doing smart things

2011-05-06T09:52:00.003-05:00

Malinda Lo is really smart, and she's an elegant writer besides. She and Cindy Pon, another brilliant YA writer, will launch the Diversity in YA Fiction tour tomorrow in San Francisco. What are they doing, exactly? Talking about how diversity works (or doesn't) in YA, talking about cultures, talking about whatever you'd like to talk about, most likely. Tomorrow's focus is Asian Americans in YA. Each tour stop highlights different cultural groups and really great books, which is the whole point, yes? YA books = flat-out awesome, and no, I'm not biased.

I wish they were coming closer to me than 8 hours away. If you're near SF, Austin TX, Chicago, Cambridge MA, NYC (twice), or San Diego, you should see them. Diversity in YA novels is something we should all care about, no matter our color or culture. There are YAers out there who care a lot, because they want to see their faces in the books they write. Can you blame them?

Eyes wide open

2011-04-29T08:20:00.004-05:00

You thought I wouldn't write about the royal wedding--but how can you pass it up? Side note: I find it *astounding* that people wear crowns for real, not as jokes or birthday celebrations. Who'd want to be responsible for it? I'd probably leave it in the bathroom or something.

To task: Kate Middleton seems pretty dang sensible, and she seems to have her eyes wide open. She's a princess with a good head on her shoulders, if you believe the media. If you're going to become a princess, 29 is a good age to do it. She's known Wills for a long time, and she knows what she's getting into, which is an antiquated, stiff, public, and formal life. But she seems destined to not succumb to the bullshit. She's her own woman, it looks like. Good for you, Kate.

This is not unlike publishing (ha, you didn't think I'd be able to make it writing-related, did you?). Some folks get anointed to be a prince/princess by the marketing machine. Crowns and Book Expo America and New York Times ads, oh my! Some folks don't get chosen, which can hurt, of course. But there's tension for the royalty--what if the next book isn't as good? What if the marketing dollars aren't there next time? What if the royalty hates being in public? The pressure is no fun. I can hear other writers saying it right now: "Whatever, bring it on! It's all about sales!" I don't disagree--I wouldn't say no to that kind of crown.

As writers, we need to keep our eyes open and be realistic. We need to remember that we do this for the joy of it. The marketing crown is definitely nice, but when the crowds go home, we need to be doing it for love. Kate married William because she loves him and wants to be with him. We write because we want to be with our characters, we want to spin tales others will enjoy. The pomp and circumstance is lovely, but what's underneath is better.

Fancy dresses rock, and hats rock harder. But so does unraveling plot points and jumping up from the computer, screaming "Yes! I did it!" (I don't do it often, and only when there's no one around). For me, that's where it's at. Would I say no to being a publishing princess? Of course not! But I've got to do it for the love of it, or it's not worth the tiara.

Morgan is BACK!

2011-04-15T08:55:00.005-05:00

That makes her sound like a horror movie monster . . . and her parents might agree.

But yes, Morgan and the cast of THE SKY ALWAYS HEARS ME are back, in an e-anthology to be published this fall by Jessica Verday and Rhonda Stapleton. All of you who've wondered about a sequel? Here you go, though it's only 20 pages. Theme of the anthology? Firsts.

More info here--can you believe those other authors? Wow. It's an honor.

I'm *so* excited to write this story. More than anything, I can't wait to figure out if she's with Rob--but she might be with Tessa. There will also be buffalo and The Really Big Empty. And more fortunes.

Tentative release date: October 4. Can't wait!

(And yes, I'm a month late in announcing this news. Story of my life right now.)

Public revision

2011-04-07T14:04:00.003-05:00

Writers revise ALL THE TIME. If you’re a writer of any stripe, you know this—or if you’re a student, we beat it beat it into your head: nothing is perfect the first time.

When my son pulled up the pilot of BONES this week, one of his fave TV dramas, I got to thinking about writing besides the printed stuff. Think what kinds of revisions the writers have gone through since 2005, when the pilot aired--tons of them. And lots of it has been (gulp) PUBLIC.

In the pilot of BONES, our main character is socially unattached (a continuing character feature), but also kind of sloppy and rude. Her relationship with her FBI partner isn’t very defined, nor are the relationships she has with her coworkers. Is she likeable? Maybe. Will people watch it again? Maybe. A show’s pilot is, of course, the writers’ first draft. I’m sure there’s a heap of stuff that get revised before a show goes on the air, but it’s still a rough draft.

The writers very obviously revised her as the show went along, though sometimes in subtle ways—her hair, the jewelry she wears. And those little things tell us a lot. In the pilot, she has messy hair. Now it’s pretty sleek, and her clothes are less sloppy. Her demeanor is kinder. Yes, she’s different because we’ve been watching her since 2005, but she’s also different because writers wanted to make her different. They had to try out different versions of her to see which one was best for the show. All of it in public.

Imagine if you write for TV. You and your team scribble and plan and tweak, but your pilot sucks. Back to the drawing board for the next episode, and you try something else. Suckage. Then you tweak again and this time it’s better. But then—-whoops!—-the dialogue is even suckier, and you have to change the dynamic between Character X and Character Y, or they’ll always sound like your aunt and her dog Mr. Jingles. Back to the drawing board you go.

By the sixth season, you're more comfortable. You’ve hit your stride, and people like your show. But you also know (another gulp) your rough draft is something my kid can yank out of the Netflix file drawer. Eeek. I am grateful to all things holy that nobody can do that with my rough drafts.

Just a note: when I was looking for a photo to go with this post, I searched Google images for “revision”. I got tons of photos of boob jobs. Not a way I’d define the word, but OK.

Letting my freak flag fly

2011-03-25T07:29:00.003-05:00

I have white hair. LOTS of it. Tons more than my spouse, and he's five years older. Do I have cool white hair? Not so much (someday, hopefully). Do I have a writing audience that may be creeped out by someone with white hair ("eeew, she's trying to act like she's young like us!")? I hope not, but who knows?

So--what to do? The cultural answer is obvious---COLOR THAT SHIT UNTIL YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR YOUR HAIR IS. But I don't like maintenance (evidence here) and I don't like dark roots. I do like my blonde streaks, however--they remind me of the natural ones I used to have. The salad days are over, honey. Get used to it. That's the voice of realism. Not like a fiction writer lives in the real world, but I should try.

SO--I've decided not to color anymore, at least until my resolve dies. : \ I may be back at the salon by next week. But this public pronouncement may help me keep my promise. Why not be honest about who I am? If I end up with hair like this picture, I will have done the right thing.

Picture stolen from here.

Outlaw Boots, pair #7: Keith Arnold Cronn (1943-2011)

2011-03-18T09:53:00.008-05:00

The last six weeks have been wild. My dad's been seriously ill since last spring, but things went downhill fast in the first half of February, and he died on February 13th. Not like we didn't expect it, and he wasn't going to recover from his illness, but still. No good. After that, my life got sucked into the details dead people leave behind (yowza), leaving little head space to write. Those previous blog posts were in the midst of it all, in hopes of kick-starting myself, but by the 4th post . . . yeah.

HOWEVER--lucky for me--I didn't have a February outlaw (I'm behind), so I thought I'd use him. My dad wrote poetry, and he's the reason I became a writer in the first place. His love of words (and stories, too) was passed on to me as a teeny tiny girl. He taught me that language is FUN. Not your average lesson, but one of the best I've ever had. He also taught me to be curious, which is equally valuable.

Though I have no book cover for him, I will repost my own trailer for SKY, because my dad took the majority of pictures in the first part of it. I asked for his help because he documented Central Nowhere (and Western Nowhere) in beautiful ways, and because I knew he was sick even then, and I wanted a public memory of him. The music's by my brother, which is also cool. It's not very often a person can collaborate with family on a book trailer.

Without further ado, why my dad wore Outlaw Boots:

--Who's your most outlaw character--why?
Me. I've been an outlaw all my life, which should be evident by the cannons in my garage (seriously--cannons) and the picture you chose (Have you ever seen an outlaw with combed hair? Of course not). My first outlaw act: sticking my fingers into a washing machine pulley when I was 18 months old. Hello, severed tendons. My best outlaw act: knocking out 3 bottom front teeth in a tangle with an electric fence. I loved popping my bridge out at you kids. Remember? Completely.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
I already said yes--will you please listen? You didn't listen when you were a girl, either. Let's not get into that, Dad.

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
Practical boots, including cowboy boots, the kind that are good for kicking around in the Sandhills. Oh, and hunting boots with thick socks.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Rebel. Not always good, but always true.

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
Hanging out in my garage. He had two, one specially built, and they were full of shit and spare parts and inventions, aside from the cannons.

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
Anything with jalapenos.

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Hmm. Inventors (he did make some good ones) or people who tinker (but also some crazy shit). My best buddy Alrae (friends for 40+ years). My dad, Duard, who always did his own thing. My students and fellow teachers at Cozad High School. Poets who stick to meter and rhyme, not that free verse crap (gak--eek--but he loved it).

Pretty good example of an outlaw, I'd say.

I keep wondering what he's doing--maybe walking in Western Nebraska, taking in the beauty and the emptiness. Maybe he's sitting across from me at my kitchen table as I write this. Who knows? Maybe he's hunting, one of his favorite things. But if all the animals (and people) are dead in the afterlife, do hunters ask the deer to play hide and seek? Hey, Deer, want to play hunting? Sure. Close your eyes, Mr. Hunter, and count to 100.

Be at peace, Dad. You were a complicated man with a tumultuous life, so this wish is my most fervent. I miss you so so much, and I love you. I wish I could give you one more hug. I hope you are joyous.

Week's worth of blog posts #4: um . . .

2011-02-23T20:54:00.005-06:00

I have no blog post for today.

Random random random random random.

Everything I've thought of is stupid.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.

I knew this would happen!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

All I have is my favorite skull from Skull-A-Day.

Tomorrow there will be something. Promise!

Week's worth of blog posts #3: no talking

2011-02-23T08:25:00.004-06:00

What happens when you don't *want* to talk anymore? I'd like to grow up and be a library: no talking inside me. Of course, nobody listens to that old rule anymore, but I'd shake my walls and books and *make* people listen. Pretty funny image, a library that shakes.

I used to talk alllllll the time. Then I moved to more listening. Now I just want to be silent and listen full-time. Not good for a teacher or writer, is it? I'd be fired.

How does one write silence into a blog post?

This blog is an attempt.

Off to say more things. Reluctantly.

(yes, I know--bad attitude. but it's what I want today.)

Week's worth of blog posts #2: iPods and getting lost

2011-02-22T07:48:00.005-06:00

It is no secret: I love my iPod.

I realize it is completely outdated to love one's iPod--we've been doing it for years now--but I seriously couldn't get by without it. It's my treadmill companion, my cleaning buddy, my drive-eight-hours-to-my hometown friend. I like my iPod because it's a way to be lost. You're in the world, but not of it. I like being lost in a story (or little tiny stories within songs). I *need* to be lost in stories.

I have two of them, in fact, one for audiobooks and working out (the oldest) and one for calendar and ledger and music and such (the newest). And they both died. Last week. One while I was in Nebraska (no audiobooks driving home, sob sob), and one when I got home. When my very first iPod broke, I literally sobbed for 15 minutes. My husband was very confused. This time, I just quietly laid them away.

Sucky. Not like iPods are expensive, but they're not cheap. And which one do I choose when I buy another? Something big and fat to keep music/data/ear crack (that's audiobooks and podcasts) in? Or something sleek and easy for exercise?

Dunno.

Maybe I'll write a book where the main character stays lost in his/her iPod. Oooh, or maybe s/he'll have a romance through an iPod. Is that possible? Loading songs on each other's shiny pink and green boxes? Dunno. But an iPod seems a indispensable item for any young adult. Adolescence is the best time of all to be lost.

Week's worth of blog posts #1: Outlaw Boots of my own

2011-02-21T10:26:00.008-06:00

Long blog hiatus, I know. Not intentional, just nutso life. More explanation as the week goes on.

Today: reward shoes, or Outlaw Boots of my own.

BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN is becoming a reality, so I figured a present was in order. But what? I rarely celebrate milestones, but this one feels big to me. I've never loved a character as much as I love Gabe Williams (my protag), and I love his radio/music obsession, too. I wanted to do it up right.

Enter the purple Fluevog boots, which are worthy of Gabe's paramour, Paige (she's a total fashionista). I am not, on the other hand, so even thinking about buying them was a *huge* leap for me.

Backstory: my agent turned me on to Fluevogs, and I fell in love. I coveted, watched, saved, wished. Then I saw these. They're called (get this) PRI, which stands for Public Radio International, my beloved public radio corporation based in Minnesota. They're from (get this) Fluevog's Radio family of shoes. AND (get this) THERE'S A RADIO ON THE SOLE. AN ETCHING OF A RADIO. IN THE SOLE.

Effing astounding.

So I now have purple radio boots, and not just purple, but a really beautiful dark lavender suede. And now my agent has a pair--turns out she'd been eyeing them as well. We are boot twins! The purple ones are sold out, which is why you have a picture of black ones. All us BEAUTIFUL MUSIC fans got there first.

Moral of the story: some things are meant to be. But who knew boring old me would end up with purple boots?

Outlaw Boots, pair #6: Rebecca Fjelland Davis

2011-01-28T08:36:00.007-06:00

Friends! You really must read CHASING ALLIECAT. If you are a fan of mysteries or sports (in this case, competitive biking) or *strong* character voices, this book is for you. The action is swift, the love triangle is sweet, and it's a great ride (ha ha, I made a pun).

Disclaimer: I am biased as all hell about Becky and her book. She is a dear-to-my-heart longtime friend and one of my critique partners, and she's with my fabulous publisher Flux (they have good taste, huh?). However, I am not the only one who loves this book. And you will love it too. Read the reviews (a bunch!) and order the book here.

Here is Becky, her bike, and her Newfie, Freya. That dog is really a bear, but we don't tell anyone. Sweetest dog ever.

Here is ALLIECAT.

Here is the book trailer.

AND (finally), here is why BFD (Big eFfing Deal, Becky Fjelland Davis)is an Outlaw:

--Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
The guy who beat up Father Malcolm in Chasing AllieCat. Why, besides obvious reasons? He has no moral compass and lives only for himself.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
Only concerning the church. Flaubert said, “Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.”

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
Shit-kickers. Interpret that as you will.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Horse rustler (not that I’ve written about horses yet).

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
Following your instincts and heart, not rules or morès.

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
Lip-blistering, sweat-inducing curry. Either red or green.

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Gus and Call in Lonesome Dove. They’re heroes more than outlaws, but they start the story by rustling horses. Heroes outside the law. LOVE them.

Official release date is Feb 8, which is SOON. Put it on your calendar!

Legacies and book giveaways--L. K. Madigan

2011-01-21T17:25:00.005-06:00

Friends, this is L.K. Madigan, fellow Debs 09 Feast of Awesome member, and she is someone who could use your help right now. Lisa's a YA writer with some fantastic books, namely FLASH BURNOUT and THE MERMAID'S MIRROR.

Right now, she's got a big fight ahead of her--please read about it here--and there are lots of us who are giving away her books to spread the love and help her out. If you're interested in winning copies of FLASH BURNOUT and THE MERMAID'S MIRROR, find contest rules here. She can use lots of support, and I hope you'll share yours.

What hurt about her post--aside from the fact that she's so ill--is that she can't work on her sequel to THE MERMAID'S MIRROR. Please, Lisa, we want you to get better. We want you to tell us what happens next. Your legacy is awesome, but we still want more.

So many worlds, so little time

2011-01-14T08:44:00.005-06:00

I was raised to be curious: a humongous blessing and a curse worse than Avada Kedavra. It leads to things like "I need to grade these HEY IT'S THE GUY WHO DIDN'T SPEAK FOR TWENTY YEARS WONDER HOW HE DID THAT WONDER IF HE COULD BE A CHARACTER IN . . ." Not good for the day job. But there is *so much* out there to explore. How does a person determine where to start?

I have no answer to that question. All I know is there are books I want to write: graphic novels about cats, verse novels about 50s fashion models, a YA starring four boys and a winter hat with a mohawk (though nobody could afford this Dior one). Maybe even a romance novel or two. Who knows? All I know is my day job started again this week, and I'm not doing so hot at getting into the groove.

How can I make my writing pay my bills? That is also the question. I will find the answer, I'm sure, but in the meantime, I need to get my head in the school game (grr) despite my desire to research and write (sigh).

Maybe this is how my students feel about the split between gaming and homework.

Maybe my character needs this beard/mustache hat instead. I think I like the woolhawk better.

Mysteries, races, chainsaws: CHASING ALLIECAT

2011-01-04T08:56:00.003-06:00

I am biased beyond belief--friends are in this trailer, friends made this trailer, and it was written by a Sister in Ink--but seriously, friends, you must read CHASING ALLIECAT. It's a wonderful mystery, and there are *incredible* bike racing scenes that will take your breath away--truly like you are on Sadie's bike with her. Plus, there is a missing chainsaw, which is pretty much irrelevant to the story, but its "bring it back" sign is the most hilarious point of the book. Well, that and firing the cannon.

See? Cannons, chainsaws, bikes--oh, and dead priests and murderous hicks in pickups--you've really gotta. Pre-order it here, and watch the trailer here. You will *not* be sorry. It's an ALAN pick and a Junior Library Guild selection, so I'm not the only one who thinks it's fab, but you'll agree with me--I know it! It's out in February, which is soon.

GO, BECKY! Woo woo!

(one of my New Year's resolutions is not to use so many exclamation points, but they're justified here, yes?)

An Outlaw with no Boots

2011-01-03T12:24:00.003-06:00

Who needs boots when you are an EAGLE, damn it, and a MO FO BADASS OUTLAW besides? I want this guy on my side.

Thank you, Courtney Summers, for the reminder. Haters gonna hate, but we just keep writing.

Happy 2011!

2010-12-31T11:26:00.004-06:00

Let's start with a font joke, shall we? I love font jokes.

2011 will be quite a year, I believe. Aren't they all? Most interesting piece of writing wisdom from 2010: it feels *really* weird to voluntarily take all the f-bombs out of a manuscript. Don't know if it will stay that way, but I wanted to try it.

Happy New Year, friends! Thanks for reading along. Here's to more hilarity and more stories in 2011.

Outlaw boots, pair #5: Neesha Meminger

2010-12-17T07:22:00.008-06:00

Friends, this month's pair of Outlaw Boots is early, but no less notable for its outlaw-ness. Neesha Meminger is the author of SHINE COCONUT MOON (a book I'm teaching in the spring, can't wait) and the released-last-week JAZZ IN LOVE. She is a Debs 09 Debutante, which is how I met her, and I have it on good authority (meaning I saw it happen) that she's been mistaken for Halle Berry. But Neesha is *way* more outlaw than Halle Berry.

Neesha writes about girls that not many people (if any) write about. Sam (SHINE) and Jazz are daughters of South Asian immigrants. Have you ever seen books about Indian-American girls? No, I didn't think so. The girls struggle with traditional teenage things--love, clothes, friends--but layered on top are cultural traditions and constrictions that will surprise any reader. Want to learn about identity struggles that shake you to your toes? These books are for you.

(Not to mention the fact that Neesha has published JAZZ IN LOVE in a unique and cool way--she's a true outlaw for that as well!)

Here's Neesha:

And here's why she's an outlaw:

--Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
Jazz, from JAZZ IN LOVE, is the biggest rebel I've written so far. She just keeps getting herself into bigger and bigger piles of doo-doo as she struggles to do what she wants while trying to hang on to the approval of her friends and family. She doesn't do a very good job of the latter, though. In following her own heart, she ends up alienating just about everyone she cares about, and then she has to decide if it's (he's) worth it.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
I am definitely an outlaw, for better or worse. I know because, like Jazz, I often find myself in big piles of doo-doo.

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your
character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
Jazz is definitely a sneaker gal--probably a wildly colored pair of Converse; while Sam, from SHINE, COCONUT MOON, is more of an Uggs type of gal--comfy, practical, yet still trendy. Me, I like clogs.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Jazz refers to herself as an "academic rock star," or a "cool geek," and Sam is more of a stealth bomber--she comes at you sideways, and before you know what hit you, she's gone :).

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
You're probably happier than most inlaws. *heh heh*

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
I'm a mostly-vegetarian who has been vegan at various points in her life, so my badass food has to be goat marrow. Seriously. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
The real Storm from X-Men because, dude--she can command the WEATHER.
(me talking: real Storm = better than Halle Berry (again!))

Neesha, you are amazing. Thank you for showing us your Outlaw Boots. Go, friends, and buy these books! Don't you have an outlaw on your Christmas list?

One more thing: those Chucks up above are my Chucks, but I figure Jazz would like them. But the new Chucks I want--right here. They say MUSIC IS MY LIFE--Gabe needs a pair!

Truth and chickens

2010-12-10T08:25:00.005-06:00

I like knowing the truth, and I generally like putting it out there, whatever it is (it doesn't always go well, of course). Emily Dickinson, that wise old housebound poet, says we need to let the truth dazzle us gradually, or we'll be blind. Fair enough, but I prefer to have you lay it on me. Don't hold back.

Why am I thinking about this? First, student evals. Two nontraditional students ripped me a new asshole (or would that be new assholes, since there were two of them?) on anonymous evals. Again, fair enough, since I "wasted [your] money on bullshit!" So, why didn't you stop flapping your white wings and step up and tell me so we could negotiate? I am open to it--seriously--I want to make class OK for you. AND--this is what chaps my ass--why were you all nicey-nicey to my face all semester, in that horrible passive-aggressive way? I *hate hate hate* that. Just get it out there, people! Let's be honest!

Not claiming your truth = chickenshit behavior.

I realize American social conventions do not allow for truth. If people do say it, it's angry and awful and hurtful (as these evals were), and anonymous. Could we please have some cultural training in how just to say it without being mean? Kthxbye.

Secondly (and more interestingly): characters. Here are two I admire who ALWAYS tell the truth: Heath Ledger's Joker and (oh yes) Anton Chigurh, from NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (the film version). These men are no-holds-barred, strafe-the-world types, not chickens in any way, and I envy them, as humans and as written creations. I marvel at how those characters are flat-out awful, but so straightforward in their agenda.

It may be that characters who tell the truth are villains, so I guess I'd better get cracking on some villains. I don't know if I'm talented enough to create a YA Anton Chigurh, but I will aspire. Off to do that now in my WIP, though on a much smaller scale.

And students: suck it up and tell me you hate it. Don't be chickens.

Desire + book = rehab

2010-12-03T08:23:00.003-06:00

Friends, this has been quite a semester, for tons of reasons, none of which are worth going into here. Lots of people have wanted my attention, and I'm drained. One situation in particular has been hard: I took a friend to rehab.

She is 21, and has been using actively since she was 12. She is on Day 18 of sobriety, and she is alternately loving it and hating it. She's known for a long time it was rehab or death, and I agree with her wholeheartedly. I was waiting for the obit in the paper.

How did she get there? A desire not to die, and a book: BEAUTIFUL, by Amy Reed. That book is with her at rehab. I read it this last summer and told her about it, because BEAUTIFUL helped me understand why she used. Once she read it, BEAUTIFUL helped my friend understand how I felt about her drug/alcohol use, and how sad I was.

I love it when books do work like this. It's confirmation that words can help and heal, and that books will never die as an art form.

(could she have done this with a Kindle? maybe. but electronics aren't allowed at rehab, so the Kindle would have stayed home, ha ha!)

Go write and read those helpful books, OK? Buy them for Christmas presents! Give an addict a copy of BEAUTIFUL, and see if it doesn't help.

Tree drawing swiped from here.

IT'S DECEMBER!!!!

2010-12-01T09:31:00.002-06:00

I am in full avoidance mode, I don't want to go to school, and I'm timing myself to see if I can write a coherent blog post in 10 minutes (ahem). Go.

IT'S DECEMBER! I love December. Here's why, in no particular order:

1) school break

2) school break = reading time!

3) school break = writing time!

4) my/my birthday twin's birthday, Elsie Yvonne Callahan (miss you, Grandma)

5) presents--buying them, but getting them, too

6) snow

7) school break (I love school, but I need an effing BREAK)

8) family get-togethers

9) the Vince Guaraldi Trio, who did the soundtrack to A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS, love it

10)time to PEACE OUT and hang out with my BAMF self and watch X-FILES on Netflix

Oh--11--bowl games. GO HUSKERS.

I'm out of time, and very late. Happy December!

early post: gratitude, of course

2010-11-23T08:33:00.006-06:00

I wrote a post. It was too deep and convoluted. I scratched it.

Since I won't be near a computer this weekend, here are some things I am grateful for. There are only a zillion more, so it's just a sampling. I like living in gratitude, not that I succeed all the time, but I try. You waste less time plotting people's demises.

So, here goes:

1) the traditionals: health, family, friends, job (I'd like less of the job, please)

2) pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread/muffins, pumpkin pie Blizzards from DQ, and pumpkin malts from Culver's

3) books--they save me, help me, amuse me, annoy me, and make my life whole

4) the women in this photo--all 2009 Debs--and the diversity of thought and experience they brought me during our YALSA weekend this month

5) #4 repeated again and again, related to all my writer friends and acquaintances. I heart writers a million times over.

6) the TaTas, my writing group, who deserve awards for how good they make my writing

7) Flux, my publisher--awesome and extraordinary

8) my agent, Amy Tipton--also awesome and extraordinary

9) lemon water (do I always mention this? I think so)

10) my students, who give me amazing character ideas and make me laugh

Happy Thanksgiving, American friends. I'm grateful for you, of course.

In the photo, l to r in back: Neesha Meminger, me, Malinda Lo, Megan Frazer. In front, Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich, Cynthea Liu, Lauren Bjorkman. We had a ton of fun!

Dun dun dun--it's here!

2010-11-19T08:10:00.006-06:00

OK! It only seems appropriate that I write about HP 7 today. If you're not a Harry Potter geek, I think you still know that the 7th film comes out today (part 1, anyway). I hope it lives up to the hype.

And now, stealing shamelessly from Tahereh Mafi, 5 reasons (each) why it would be cool to date an HP character:

WHY I'D DATE SIRIUS
1) bad boy
2) furry to cuddle with (and a dog takes up less space in a bed)
3) smart ass
4) cool kid, so I'd be cool by virtue of hanging out with him
5) good at hiding
This does not take into account the fact that he's spoiled, which is kind of a turn-off.

WHY I'D DATE LUPIN
1) free time every month while he's werewolfing
2) gentle when he's not a werewolf
3) shabby = low maintenance
4) protection from the big V with his DADA skills
5) cool pets like grindylows

WHY I'D DATE RON
1) funny
2) funny
3) dorky
4) funny
5) big crazy family

WHY I COULDN'T DATE DUMBLEDORE: I'm straight.

WHY I'D NEVER DATE HARRY: eeeew. Too much like a brother.

It's always the books that have my heart--always!--but the movies will do, and it's fun to geek out once in a while. In my house, HP is like comfort food. No other book to read? Get out the HP discs, and let's listen (we're in love with Jim Dale, too). And it doesn't make you fat, like frozen pizza will.

OK! Hot-cha! Off to work so I can stand in line with a non-guilty conscience later. Woo woo!

Seven things I am doing instead of writing

2010-11-12T14:25:00.003-06:00

Finding time to write these days is like finding a lost kitty--the reunion is joyous, but kitties are quite elusive, especially when it's noisy and chaotic. All I want is my skulls, my Black Hills, and my ghosts. Is that too much to ask? It seems to be. But Ray and Callie sit patiently on my table, waiting for me, as characters do (thank god--can you imagine if they got up and walked around? Eeek.).

Here's what I'm doing instead of writing, right this instant:

1) grading my students' discussion posts

2) listening to Stevie Wonder on the 70s music channel on my TV (this is no hardship)

3) listening to my kid play a video game my spouse lets him play, one that came out this week and I HATE it, but I lost that battle, no pun intended

4) gluing the treadmill key back together

5) reading A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS in preparation for teaching it (also not much of a hardship)

6) prepping for a reading tonight (also not much of a hardship, but it's 90 miles away)

7) wrapping birthday gifts for mailing

All of it serves a purpose, of course. BUT I NEED TO WRITE. I love my family, my students, the people who read my books, the people who need birthday gifts, all of it. I love what I do in life. BUT I NEED TO WRITE.

Hear me? I NEED IT.

Kick me with an Outlaw Boot

2010-10-30T17:36:00.004-05:00

I am sooooo embarrassed--I forgot author website links in my Outlaw Boots posts. I know I forgot it in Jon's post, but maybe even in all of them. : \ Instead of going back to check, I'm just going to try again.

Courtney Summers can be found here.

Kurtis Scaletta can be found here.

A.S. King can be found here.

And Jon Skovron can be found here.

I mean, what kind of a yo-yo forgets an author's website?

Me.

Sorry.

Graphic swiped from here.

Outlaw boots, pair #4: Jon Skovron

2010-10-29T08:38:00.008-05:00

In this month's installment of Outlaw Boots, we have classic outlaws: rock and roll heroes in the forms of Jon Skovron and Sammy, Jon's protagonist of STRUTS AND FRETS. If you are a music-is-my-soul kind of human, you must read STRUTS AND FRETS. Music is the thing that gets Sammy through--and through a lot. His grandfather is sick (my favorite parts of the book involve his grandfather), his best friend (Jen5, love that name) is maybe more than that, and, well, there's his band. Sammy is someone you will understand. And don't you love the title? Rock and roll and Shakespeare, all rolled up.

Here's the book.

Here's Jon.

And look next fall for MISFIT, Jon's second novel, with an even more significant badass outlaw. The one-sentence summary of MISFIT: "A half-demon girl in Catholic school must keep her parentage a secret as she learns to control her emerging abilities and protect those she loves from the forces of Hell." Can't get much more badass than that, now can you?

Without further ado, here's why Jon is an outlaw (and dig those black Doc Martens! Classic!):

--Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
Jael Thompson from my forthcoming book MISFIT. Because being a demon in Catholic school makes you an outlaw automatically.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
Not on purpose. It's just that there are so many rules that get in the way...

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
A classic: black Doc Martin boots.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
Artist.

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
Life is never dull.

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
A New York slice, folded in half, eaten while walking.

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
It's a toss-up between Henry Miller and Oscar Wilde...Two very different guys, but they both stayed true to their creative spirit and boldly faced the consequences.

Go, friends--have a rock and roll break with STRUTS AND FRETS. You won't regret it.

Things I love this week

2010-10-22T13:44:00.004-05:00

First and most obvious (if you are my FB friend, you know this already), this announcement from PUBLISHERS WEEKLY:

"Kirstin Cronn-Mills's BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN, following a boy, who thinks he's the master of disguise because his given name is Elizabeth, and his weekly, hour-long radio show, where he entertains the world as his true self; pitched as Pump Up the Volume for this generation, to Brian Farrey at Flux, by Amy Tipton at Signature Literary Agency (World English). "

I AM SO STOKED. *This*, friends, is EPIC. I am here to convince the publishing world that a book with a trans man narrator will sell a zillion copies! A big task, but I'm up to it. Flux, you won't regret it. Thank you for your trust in me.

Second, this conversation:
Shae: Mom, you *have* to read this book [Riordan's new one, LOST HEROES, from his new series HEROES OF OLYMPUS).
K: why? [looks at him and his grin] You're dying to talk about it, aren't you?
Shae: YES! So just read it!
I love raising a reader.

Third: school break.
Fourth: school break.
Fifth: the novel I'm revising.
Sixth: school break.
Seventh: fall soccer in beautiful weather.
Eighth: dodging a bullet (you know that feeling? Said bullet may not be discussed here, but I dodged it, and holy crap, my heart hasn't slowed down since.)
Ninth: lemon water.
Tenth: you. : ) I always love you, friends!

Graphic stolen from here, a blog I now plan to read, and not just for its cool graphics.

Rock on, friends! Here's to new adventures with BEAUTIFUL MUSIC!

Epic-ness and skulls

2010-10-15T08:09:00.004-05:00

Do you feel epic, friends?

Some days I do. Some days I think I can win the Internet, single-handedly make my books NYT bestsellers, make my students elect me for a Nobel Peace Prize, and raise my child to be Gandhi, while I also make gourmet dinners and provide all my loved ones with oodles of smooches and glittery unicorns carrying my affection for them.

Then there are days I definitely, positively, completely do not feel epic.

There are also days in between. I like those days. Today has yet to be determined. But I owe you a blog post.

The most epic thing in my life right now: Skull-A-Day. Have you seen it? We're in skull season now, with Day of the Dead coming up. Even better than Halloween, if you ask me.

Here's the epic part: Skull-A-Day is research now. Remember the buffalo book? There are now 100% more skulls in that book. I am hooked on epic skulls, and that blog has some crazy amazing ones.

Skull image from here. Thanks, Noah Scalin. You rock, and you are kind and generous. Can't wait to dig through your archives.

So: go be epic. Blog post accomplished.

Domestic violence and you . . . and me

2010-10-08T08:00:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to figure out how to write this post for a couple weeks. First, the deets: it would be great, awesome, and cool if you could check out Swati Avasthi's auction (click the button above to get there). I donated a book and a critique, as did many other people who are cooler than me. Swati's book SPLIT is a wonderful, voice-y read, and it brings up many angles of a violent situation. Please check it out.

Second, why it matters to me to be a part of this: I've got domestic violence in my background. There were people who were hurt by others who in turn hurt me. Alcohol abuse, mental illness, and huge needs for control and dominance were part of it. It was mild, comparatively speaking, but it's given me a trick knee, which pops out and knocks me down sometimes. The great thing: now I get back up, which is a relatively recent skill. There were times I stayed on the ground forever.

One of my abusers is very sick now, and me and the trick knee are working it out. We mostly walk, though there is limping involved when I'm tired or overwhelmed. It's hard sometimes. I want to say: you didn't help me, why should I help you? But that's dumb. This person needs lots of love. And I can give it, most days, when there's no yelling involved.

I can't say what it's like for others. Forgiveness is a far reach sometimes, depending on the severity of things. But people change, and people are sorry. And abuse isn't about the person *being* abused. They're just a convenient target for all the hurt the abuser feels. When I learned this fact, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. And Swati's auction will send money to help abusers not be abusers.

Please check it out and help stop the violence before it starts. Do it for the people you know who are affected by domestic violence. And when I say "affected" I mean everything from people who are still living with it to people with trick knees.

Thanks.

Outlaw Boots, pair #3: A. S. King

2010-09-27T06:48:00.005-05:00

Today’s Outlaw Boots are worn by A.S. King, an outlaw if I ever met one (photo of her boots supplied by Amy!). She is the esteemed author of THE DUST OF 100 DOGS (from Flux, so she is an imprint-mate) a fantastic story of PIRATES! and reincarnation and history, plus the anxiously awaited (starred review from Kirkus, woo woo!) PLEASE IGNORE VERA DIETZ, out very, very soon, and there’s a third one coming soon, but I don’t know the details. These books are for rebels everywhere. Her characters are independent, quirky, and unafraid, plus they find themselves in situations where you say, “huh?” Then you say, “hmmm,” and then you plunge back in, anxious to find out what’s next, because you can’t put her books down.

Saffron and Emer live behind the red/black cover, and Vera is behind the lime green (?) one. Spectactular art on both books, wouldn’t you say?

This is Amy.

And here are her Outlaw Boots:

--Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
Emer Morrisey--because she likes to take out people's eyeballs, probably. And she refused to be a kept woman.

--Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
Yes. Becasue my actual nickname is "The Outlaw." I'm serious, too. Also, because I never do what I'm told. Which is probably how I got the nickname.

--What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear?
All of us wear boots. Big honking boots.

--Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character (I think this one is a duh for you):
Uh. Pirate?

--Best thing about being an outlaw:
No one tells you when to go to bed. You can spit. It's a toss-up between them.

--Favorite outlaw/badass food:
Skittles for breakfast or, if no Skittles, Peanut Butter Capn' Crunch. (Emer's answer: you eating your own ear.)

--Favorite outlaw/badass role model/why:
Mickey & Mallory from Natural Born Killers. Why? Because like most outlaws, they have baggage that perfectly explains why they're outlaws. I love that the movie explores it and I love that the characters embrace their outlawness once they decide to go for it.

Read her, read her, read her. Read her now. You won’t be sorry. And now I’m going to sit by my mailbox and wait for my copy of PLEASE IGNORE VERA DIETZ. It's coming out NOW--go get it!

A love letter

2010-09-17T14:18:00.005-05:00

Dear SKY readers:

After last week's post, I realized I forgot to give credit where credit is due--to whom do I owe my first published year (besides my awesome friends at Flux)? You, kind readers. You have been astoundingly generous and completely wonderful to me. Thank you for taking Morgan into your heart and understanding her. Thank you for carrying her around the world.

I hope you laughed, too. She's a drama queen, isn't she? But she means well.

With my love and gratitude--let's do it again sometime--

Kirstin

(graphic swiped from here)

Yawp, yawp, yawp, yawp . . .

2010-09-12T18:23:00.004-05:00

. . . yawp yawp YAWP!

First, anybody know who this handsome young dude is?

That's right! It's our friend Walt Whitman, also known to me and my students as Uncle Walt, sometimes Gay Uncle Walt. I truly, truly heart Uncle Walt. He is into excess (soooo many words!), he has a bit of an ego, plus he is wonderful at detail and is deeply, DEEPLY in love with the world. Plus, without him we couldn't have had lots of other fabulous poets, like William Carlos Williams and Alan Ginsburg.

Why Uncle Walt right here and now? These lines:

"I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world."

Those words are close to the end of his crazy-ass, wonderfully intense and immense poem "Song of Myself," from his book LEAVES OF GRASS, published in 1855 (he self-published the first edition with his own money!). Every time I think writing is stupid (like today), or blogging is pointless (like a lot), I think of Whitman's words, and I take courage.

If he can yawp, I can yawp. Someone will hear us. And if not, we did it anyway. That's what matters.

The year of living bifurcatedly

2010-09-10T08:17:00.006-05:00

Bifurcation = a split. Your word nerd moment of the day. Notice how the yin/yang is split? More on this later.

I have now been a published YA author for just over one year. Craziness. Complete awesomeness. The time went FAST. Of course, I’ve learned things. A*lot* of things:

1) my YA writing colleagues are kind, giving, smart, and tons of fun. I am honored to be part of such a crowd that's so generous. I knew this before I was published, actually.

2) I love my publishing house. Flux and its peeps are the absolute bomb.

3) I am a shy person online, but not in person. It's a mystery. I’m working on it.

4) When you are a debut novelist, don’t teach extra classes.

5) My jealousy can be intense, which both shames me and motivates me. It also doesn’t last long, which helps, because it’s overcome by #s 1 and 2, hearing from readers, and working with book peeps everywhere.

6) People don’t want to read my book.

7) People want to read my book.

8) “Success” is relative, depending on where you’re standing.

#s 1, 2, 3, and 4 are self-explanatory. #s 5 & 6: if I want to sell a million copies and be on the New York Times bestseller list, I need different material. Contemporary YA (and/or edgy YA) is a perennial category—like the sun, we just exist—and we are not generally a hot topic. That’s all right. We persist in our wonderfulness. Some days I think I should aim for trendy, but the hot would be cold by the time the book got to market.

#7 & 8 (still related to #s 5 & 6): Man oh man. Was I "successful"? Depends on who you ask. My publisher: “well, um, sales, yeah, some, well, she almost won an award, so, um . . . maybe?” (I honestly don’t know what they’d say. They might refer you back to #3). My family: “We have no idea. When is supper?” Me: “my book got read on 4 continents, and some people really understood Morgan and Tessa. I met cool people and got to do cool stuff, including seeing/listening to Neil Gaiman, and I got to talk about what I love. Hell yeah I’m a success!” New York Times bestseller list . . . well, you know.

There's a give and take between writing your passion and being marketable--this is the bifurcated part. I haven't mastered it yet. Do I write that crazy-ass storyline about those boys in the Laundromat or should I try a zombie romance (I do like that idea)? Even my husband said, when I was pitching an idea, “You need to write more marketable books.” Ouch. He doesn't know the biz, but he's a reader, so he knows what he likes. And readers vote with $.

And that's the bottom line--publishing is a business (duh) and runs on money. My literature teacher side says WOW THAT SUCKS IT SHOULD BE STORIES. And stories still matter. But marketing possibilities trump stories—-it just happened to me, and it hurt for a bit. But I can’t begrudge folks the opportunity to run a profitable business. No profitable publishers = no books at all.

So. Was it a good year? The best. Will there be more like it? I really, really hope so. Which to write next—-laundromats or zombies? I don’t know. I just want more years to find out.

Outlaw Boots, pair #2: Kurtis Scaletta

2010-08-27T10:22:00.007-05:00

Today, friends, we have our second installation of Outlaw Boots, this time featuring middle-grade author Kurtis Scaletta. True confession: my kid loves Kurtis' books, which is enough endorsement for me, but I think Kurtis is awesome, too.

What does Kurtis write? Funny boy stuff (I love funny boy stuff): baseball games that get rained out for years and years (MUDVILLE), guys who have a thing for poisonous African snakes--in Africa (MAMBA POINT), and scary fungus run amok (THE TANGLEWOOD TERROR, out in Fall 2011)

Here's Kurtis.

Here's why he wears Outlaw Boots.

Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
- Sturgis Nye from Mudville. As a pitcher he's a fan of the beanball.
As a kid, he's gotten into a scrape or two. And his theme song is
"Outlaw" by The Cult!

Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?

- No, I'm very lawful. I don't even speed when I drive. Seriously.

What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe
outlaw boots?)?
- Snakeskin cowboy boots.

Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
- I like the cowboy-style outlaw. Jesse James or Butch Cassidy.

Best thing about being an outlaw:
- Playing harmonica.

Favorite outlaw food:
- Key lime pie and black coffee at a highway diner in the middle of nowhere.

Favorite outlaw role model/why:
- Robin Hood, because (at least in the legend) turned to crime out of
a sense of justice. But a version where he's a cowboy outlaw.

Tune in next month for the next installment of Outlaw Boots! Kurtis is one of my role models for how to write funny boy happenings, so I need to go read about Linus and his mamba.

The week's favorite things

2010-08-20T08:12:00.005-05:00

BEWARE: blaspheming ahead.

Here are my favorite things for this week:

Be careful with that touching, guys. And do your hair like these ladies--He'll like you even more.

Both images swiped from here.

Now for my new motto:

Go, friends, go! Do epic shit! And *you* decide the definition of "epic". You don't have to save the world. Just spend an hour with your grandma. GO!

Silence is the new conflict

2010-08-17T06:27:00.006-05:00

This guy is an environmentalist named John Francis. In 1971, he witnessed an oil spill in the San Francisco bay, and he swore off motorized transportation for 22 years. But--more amazing to me--in 1973, he decided to be silent. FOR 17 YEARS, with the exception of 1 phone call to his mom after 10 years. No writing, even. He taught himself Indian Sign Language, then realized nobody spoke it, then just used gestures and touch and pantomime. 17 YEARS, FRIENDS. I couldn't do it for 17 days , even though I desperately want to right now. But teachers/writers don't get very far without communicating. And--get this--the guy completed 3 college degrees (including a Ph.D.), all in silence.

John Francis matters to me right now because of two things: 1) I need a conflict for my next novel, and I can see a teenage boy refusing to speak for long periods of time; and 2) he was a black man who carried a banjo (see above), and this intrigues me. Of all things--a banjo. Francis said that if he *didn't* carry his banjo, then he was a tall threatening black man. If he *did* carry his banjo and play it, then he was a friendly guy with a banjo, not a tall threatening black man. I admire his ability to hide and/or change stereotypes with a goofy instrument, though it sucks he had to think that way in the first place.

John Francis claims he set out to show one person can make a difference. His Planetwalker organization continues to work for environmental change and goodness, which is fantastic, plus he made a difference to me--he gave me a conflict for my character (at least an initial one, though we know how revision changes things, grr). I'm going to study this dude some more.

Tell me, friends: could *you* be silent for 17 years?

Happy/sad/mad + characters

2010-08-06T10:29:00.010-05:00

I love how life contributes to art. Or not.

At the moment, I'm trying to write some big emotions for a couple characters, and I'm not quite getting there. Things are still flat. So what does Life decide to do? Hand me situations that I can translate to the page. Grrr . . . I've gotten brained with the sad stick and pounded with the angry stick about sixty times this week (thank you, birth family! thank you, publishing industry!), but hey, it's great for my WIP, right? Grrr. But now I get the sadness that drags Callie down, and the anger that eats up Ray's insides. Still--dang--I'm tired!

Luckily, life also whacks you with the happy stick, and those beatings contribute to the goofy, silly things my characters do. So, some things that have made me happy this week:

Image swiped from here, and the guy with the website is the guy with the funny sign. LOVE. IT. And yay for same-sex marriage in California!

Also this:

I was in the mood to strafe the world, and I let them do it for me. Perfect. Plus it's a decent action film with a relatively coherent script.

Back to your regularly scheduled emotions. Whew.

Outlaw Boots, pair #1: Courtney Summers

2010-07-25T18:40:00.029-05:00

BACKSTORY: I've been looking for a way to feature writers/writerly peeps on my blog, because part of blogging is returning the blog love. So--Outlaw Boots. Now I'm sure you're asking, because you are discerning blog friends: what the hell? What are Outlaw Boots?

BEHIND THE BACKSTORY: I love writing YA because of outsiders--almost every protagonist believes s/he's an outsider, in whatever way. That I-don't-belong sensibility is near and dear to my heart, partly because I've felt that way as long as I've been able to think about myself.

Then, at some point, "outsider" got translated to "outlaw." This correlation isn't exact--some outsiders aren't traditional outlaws, but there are still take-charge, let-me-mess-with-you elements to outsiders, too. I see outsiders as the key element of the basic YA "formula": outsider/outlaw makes crazy stuff happen, and hilarity may or may not ensue, then we discover all the vulnerability *underneath* the outsider/outlaw posturing, and oh man, perfect setup for a story. I love my genre!

OK, so, with that loooong introduction, I give you the first set of Outlaw Boots, worn by Courtney Summers. Courtney is the author of CRACKED UP TO BE, SOME GIRLS ARE, and FALL FOR ANYTHING (out in December), all from St. Martin's Press.

Edited to add: I didn't even tell you what her books are about! Basically: high school girls behaving badly, mostly to each other. For example, from the CRACKED UP TO BE blurb: "Perfect Parker Fadley isn’t so perfect anymore." Hmmm . . . interesting! Or, from the blurb of SOME GIRLS ARE, "Climbing to the top of the social ladder is hard–falling from it is even harder." Provocative! All you need to know: read them.

Full disclosure: Courtney is an agent sibling. But even if she wasn't, I would still love her, because 1) she's sparkly, but not in a vampire-y way; 2) she's funny, smart, and talented; 3) she's Canadian, which seems rather outlaw and outsider to begin with; and 4) I loved loved loved CRACKED UP TO BE.

There are questions (dun dun dunnnn!) for those who wear Outlaw Boots, and these are Courtney's answers:

Who's your most outlaw character (in any book)--why?
Definitely Parker, because of her determination to go against the grain.

Are you an outlaw too? How do you know?
Maybe! I refuse to compromise a lot. I don't know if that makes me an outlaw so much as a jerk, though.

What kind of shoes does your outlaw wear (you or your character--maybe outlaw boots?)?
A kick-ass pair of flowery slippers.

Pirate, ninja, nerd, other outlaw title for you/your character:
I always go with ninja. Because Ninjas are cool.

Best thing about being an outlaw:
Not answering to anybody.

Favorite outlaw food:
Zucchini fries! Wait. That's food that should be outlawed. ;)

Favorite outlaw role model/why:
Pierre Trudeau! He was a bit of an outlaw as far as Canadian PMs go. He didn't take no guff!

Image of kick-ass flowery slippers stolen from here. Courtney also moonlights as Pele, the volcano goddess, because she hearts volcanoes. When she is not sparkly, she looks like this:

Thank you, Courtney, for wearing the first pair of Outlaw Boots!

Maintenance

2010-07-20T10:20:00.006-05:00

Confession: I am not good at maintenance.

This confession applies to many things. For example, I don't scrub out the fridge except in the summer. I just did it today, which is why I'm thinking about maintenance. I cleaned my oven two years ago ONLY because I won cook-for-me chefs in a charity auction. Laundry is OK, but dusting is horrible. I get pissed when I have to shave my legs (TMI, but it falls under this category) and color my hair. I don't vacuum my car. I also don't do so hot at publicity, which is really maintenance of one's writing career.

Maintenance ALSO implies that you own it/you bought it/you're responsible for it. Oh come on, can't I be irresponsible? For a supporting argument,please see this post. Clean ALL the things???

Damn.

Some of my maintenance crabbiness is really just laziness. Some is skepticism (who sees the inside of a fridge?) and some is futility (I'll just have to get highlights AGAIN?? WOE IS ME!) Some is self-preservation (dear child, can you fix your own lunch SO I CAN WRITE AND GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF MY HEAD???).

On the upside, usually I am good at maintaining relationships. I write, I call, I e-mail, I FB (I don't Twitter much). I kiss my kid and husband good night every night, and I pay attention to them (except at lunch). I call my mom. All that other stuff is just that--STUFF. Step off, stuff.

I realize it does matter--people accept me better if I shave my legs. People will see me if I blog/Twitter/have a web presence (my publicist will like me better).

But please, oh please . . . don't make me maintain anything else today. The fridge was enough.

(Full disclosure: my lack of desire to maintain stuff frustrates the shit out of my husband. He is good at maintenance, and is an ace at housework.)

Fences

2010-07-12T12:25:00.009-05:00

Do you know the play FENCES? I teach it in my Intro to Lit class, and it just closed on Broadway (three Tonys, including one for Denzel). Awesome play. An African-American play, but a universal play. The main character, Troy, never gets his fence finished. He needs to protect his heart, his family, his territory--but what is he also keeping out?

I am thinking about this because we just finished discussing FENCES, but also because I read this fantastic blog post and its comments, all about inclusion and exclusion in children's literature, and it directly relates to books 1 through 3 of my repertoire. So directly I blushed.

So here's a request: what about gates in the fences? Or maybe a big ol' pasture with little fenced-off spaces inside it? Places to mix and mingle, but still with some protection for those who feel the need? I'm not discounting the need, either--I have no idea what it means to have to protect yourself to survive, and I have no right to refute that feeling. But man, I'm here, outside your fence, trying to say hello because I like you and want to get to know you. Yes, I know. Privilege. I don't have to have a fence. But I mean it: I like you and I want to get to know you. You can give me the finger, and you have every right. But I really don't want to walk away.

Thanks to Malinda Lo for showing me Arthur Levine's blog (he's the man who brought Harry Potter to America, I could kiss your shoes, dude).

Pride, PRIDE, pride

2010-06-30T13:30:00.006-05:00

I am so lame--Pride Month is over today! Happy Pride! I love Pride Month--I always want to take my homophobic students to a parade and say "Look. Not all gay men wear buttless chaps. They're regular people, just like you."

I am the advisor for SCC PRIDE, a safe-zone group at my school. I love it, but I realize it's not ideal, because I am an ally. Problem is, I don't think any of the people in the LBGT spectrum who work there feel safe enough (work-wise, not violence-wise, I hope) to be the advisor. How's that for shitty? So I do it, and I'm honored to do it.

However, one student called me out. She said it wasn't my fight, since I don't know what she goes through every day. Fair enough--no I don't. Some folks don't trust allies for that reason. Understandable. But it's still my fight, because of all my family and friends who don't have the same rights I do. Civil rights fights are everyone's fight. Plus I fell desperately in love with Harvey Milk when I saw the documentary THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK when I was an undergrad. MILK is phenomenal, too, but that documentary--holy shit. The candlelight march (which is in the Sean Penn film)? It still reduces me to tears.

It's also my fight because I wanted to say, to the real Tessa who inspired SKY, that it would have been OK. Had she come out to me when we were in high school, I would have still been her friend. She knows that now, in real life. But I think she liked that it happened in a book, too. And it makes me happy that she likes it.

Graphic stolen from WIPEOUT HOMOPHOBIA ON FACEBOOK (which isn't letting me link), a phenomenal page, except it should be "Wipe Out," not "Wipeout," like the surfing song. English teacher = always a possible grammar lesson. Sorry. : \

Cultural (in?)competence

2010-06-23T12:36:00.006-05:00

In our house, we like Rick Riordan. My husband and son devoured the PERCY JACKSON series this winter, and I finally finished it late this spring. When we saw his latest series, THE RED PYRAMID, we were all over it--woo hoo!

Last week it was finally my turn with the new book. By page 7 I know this brother and sister do not look alike. Carter takes after his dad, who is African-American, and Sadie takes after her mother, who was white. Here's Riordan's description of Julius, their dad: "He has dark brown skin like mine, piercing brown eyes, a bald head, and a goatee, so he looks like a buff evil scientist" (3). Carter also dresses like his dad (business-like but stylish, always dress clothes). Sadie, on the other hand, looks like this: ". . . she takes after our mom, who was white, so Sadie's skin is much lighter than mine. She has straight caramel-colored hair, not exactly blond but not brown, which she usually dyes with streaks of bright colors . . . [and] her eyes are blue. I'm serious. BLUE eyes, just like our mom's" (7).

Why is this important? You'll see.

I'm reading away, lost in the adventures, and we get to page 373, where Carter is practicing with his sword on a back-porch thingy on his RV. People are looking at him, because he's on the interstate and traveling very fast, so he makes this comment: "Once in a while we'd pass a rancher's truck or a family SUV, and the driver would get wide-eyed when he saw me: a black kid swinging a sword around on the back of an RV. I'd just smile and wave . . . ."

Wha?

By this point, I'd totally forgotten Carter was black, so the sentence snapped me back to reality. And I was embarrassed, because I'd forgotten that fact. Then I had to ponder WHY I'd forgotten it. I came up with a few reasons:

**it didn't matter to the story

**I didn't think fourteen-year-old black guys should be dressed in dress clothes while going on adventures and playing with swords on the back of RVs

**another reason I'm unaware of

I have no idea which of those reasons is the predominant answer. Maybe all of them, maybe none of them. In my head, when I was imagining Carter and his sword, I saw a kid that sort of looked like Harry Potter. Got a little cultural bias there, Kirstin?

In some ways, I go with reason #1, because Riordan doesn't make it significant that the kids are biracial (or I missed it, which is possible, because I was so absorbed and reading fast). The cover gives no real clues, either. If you look at the book's cover, the kids are turned away from the reader, plus the cover colors are not realistic--it's mostly golds and browns (though their hair is different from each other's). Still, Riordan *told* me the kids were biracial. My brain just chose to impose whiteness on them--at least on Carter, anyway.

Does this make me bad? Probably not. Does this make me a product of my white Midwestern culture? Yes. I asked Shae if he knew what color Carter Kane was, and he said no, he didn't notice. When I told him Carter had dark skin and Sadie had light skin, his eyes got wide. His comment: "I saw him as no color," which means white, but it also means he just took him in, and his skin color didn't matter to what Carter was doing. That's all right.

One last question: how would those kids appear to readers of color? Would they switch them out as white? I bet not.

This is something to think about.

W-A-I-T is a four-letter word

2010-06-08T08:28:00.008-05:00

I'm waiting right now. If you're a writer, you'd better know how to wait. It's not a good word.

I'm waiting for people to say yes. I'm waiting for people to say no.

I'm waiting for inspiration to strike.

I'm waiting for trepidation to recede.

I'm waiting for confusion to clear up (ha ha--never!).

The other verbs that go with waiting are goofing off, surfing, thinking and avoiding.

I'm goofing off in every possible way by doing *other* kinds of work, which is BAD.

I'm surfing the interwebz for new author promotion strategies.

I'm thinking of all the ways I can strengthen my characters.

I'm avoiding the tough stuff--should I *really* be a writer? Should I quit my job, pierce my lip, dye my hair teal, and take up photography? Should I buy a pair of purple Chucks? Should I run away to Australia? All of these things are valid questions, except the last one. I couldn't run away because then my kid wouldn't take his vitamins, and then he'd die of scurvy and rickets and other horrible diseases, which would not be OK.

Despite all this roiling about, underneath it all, there's always waiting.

(Do people even know what "four-letter words" are anymore? Like p*ss and sh*t and f*ck? Maybe the four-letter word concept is old and tired, but I still think wait is one of them.)

The pug is for you, Amy Tipton, and the sign is from here.

Nobody ever gets shot on the Hallmark channel

2010-06-01T15:10:00.010-05:00

One of my students (a high-school guy) said that to me: "Nobody ever gets shot on the Hallmark Channel." Exactly! It's not their audience. Knowing your audience is a key part in selling things, including writing. Granted, I don't know about the Hallmark Channel--I'm not their audience, except for being a woman. Maybe people really do get shot there, but I'm sure, if it happens, it's only bad guys or for a good reason, and there is forgiveness all around.

Henceforth, two wildly different examples of knowing your audience:

Example #1: It's a Chamber of Commerce buffalo, isn't it? Actually, it's a random buffalo I found in Custer State Park outside of Custer, SD, but he looks like he was planted there to sell the place, down to that raised right front foot. He needs a coffee can next to him that says "tips", or the state of South Dakota should have him on retainer for standing around like that. He read his audience (people who drive around looking for SD wildlife) quite well.

Example #2: Hyperbole and a Half. I have no idea why I like this blog, except for the fact that her screechy insanity appeals to me more than almost anything I read these days. I think her audience is people who *want* to be crazy-ass weirdos who scrawl funny drawings about stupid stuff heaped with sarcasm and wild amusement *but have no guts to do it*. Like me. I hope Allie Brosh won't come after me for swiping her drawing, hopefully not since I only said good things.

On a related note, I did see fish at Shedd Aquarium in Chicago that posed for cameras--swam right up to the glass and showed people their best sides and smiled in a fishy way. I was floored. So maybe this buffalo posed too, I don't know. But I'd guess not. I always figure a buffalo could give a fsck about a camera, because he's huge, powerful and able to trash a car in three seconds. He knows he's better that you, tip jar or not.

I heart boobies but not assholes

2010-05-28T08:08:00.009-05:00

Has anybody seen the "I heart boobies" bracelet that Zumiez sells? My child now has one, courtesy of a friend. He thinks it's completely awesome, of course, because he's just getting to the time in his life when boobies are ultra-interesting, but not for breast cancer awareness, if you get my drift.

So I said to him, as he's talking about his bracelet and trying to annoy me, "Are you sure this is about cancer and not just loving boobies because they're boobies? What about a bracelet that said 'I heart balls' or 'I heart penises'? Could we do that for cancer research?"

Shocked silence. Then "Mom, nobody would wear those."

"I can think of people who would."

"No you can't."

Oh yes I can. And then I start laughing, because I'd bet I could sell a mixed case of those suckers in about twenty minutes, especially if I mentioned it on Facebook.

So here's the next question: if these bracelets are to raise cash for cancer (I am *not* saying raising money for breast cancer is bad, even in a wink-wink, nudge-nudge way), where are the ones for anal/rectal cancer that say "I heart assholes"? Or "I heart cervixes"? My brother has brain cancer, so why not ones that say "I heart brains"? Problem is, brains, cervixes, and anuses aren't sexy and cool--they are what they are, with not a lot of love attached--oh, unless you're a zombie, and then you do heart brains because you're hungry. But boobies--we can admit our sexy love for them and still call it fundraising. Is this good? I don't know.

You can, however, buy a similar product as chewing gum, as the picture demonstrates. Now we just need to skew it towards cancer research. And yes, there is such a thing as penile cancer.

This is why I'm a word nerd--the power within them fascinates me. Now I'm off to find a manufacturer for my "I heart penises" bracelets. Wish me luck!

Knock me over with a feather

2010-05-25T08:07:00.006-05:00

You'll never guess what I found in the Central Nowhere paper. I had to read it three times to make sure I had the genders correct:

"Mark Edward Becker and Cody Bill Shafer McKiddie, both of Denver, Colorado, are pleased to announce their engagement and upcoming wedding ceremony.

Mark, 29, is . . . Cody, 31, is . . . He is [also] an Iraq War veteran with 10 years of service as Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force. He has served 1 tour in the Middle East and 2 in South Korea. The wedding will take place July 31st, 2010, in Council Bluffs, Iowa."

Mark is originally from Central Nowhere! And, double bonus: the other groom is a gay man in the military.

Why does this matter to me? Maybe, if she still was a teenager there, the real Tessa could be out today, and not have to hide herself with fake boyfriends. Maybe she could bring a girlfriend to the prom, and not have to deal with what Constance went through. I highly doubt it--one wedding announcement does not a gay pride festival make--but you never know.

For me, it boils down to this: if this announcement is in my hometown paper, there's hope in the world. Though I hope they don't choose this cake topper.

Yaaaaaay, research!

2010-05-21T09:26:00.004-05:00

I know--long hiatus. Sorry.

I love research. Why? It's an awesome procrastination tool.

But it's also a smart thing to do. I just took a four-day research trip (and drove 1400 miles total, WOW, lots of gas), and it was beaucoup fantastic. I learned so much, even more than I was expecting to learn.

Some of what I now know:

1) one character needs a French surname, not an English one
2) buffalo are WAY bigger than you'd think (see photo for scale)
3) coyotes can't catch prairie dogs, even though they try
4) grandmothers rule the world
5) people are incredibly generous (thanks again, Ernie & Sonja!)
6) there was a real guy named Buddy Red Bow--he's not just a character in a film
7) a person could get lost in western South Dakota--on purpose or by accident
8) always bring a cooler

The best thing about research is how much better it makes your fiction. At the same time, you have to be very, very careful not to let facts overwhelm your story.

Now to do justice to what I learned. Eeek.

Hilarious photo from here.

Writers are cool, part 1

2010-05-06T21:32:00.009-05:00

I want to do more to talk up other writers. What are the interwebs about but networking? So I thought I'd start with agent siblings--or people you share an agent with. And I have some really cool agent siblings, way cooler than me, plus they do interesting things.

For instance, Victoria Schwab. Her novel THE NEAR WITCH is out in Summer 11, but what's she doing in the meantime? Helping to bring Nashville back from its recent flood. Writers are good community members, and she's one of the best. Please please please, check out her auction.

Also Amy Reed. Her book BEAUTIFUL came out in October of 09, and she's busy talking about bullies and making a stand with other writers.

There are more! Marci Blackman is publishing an insider's guide to biking in NYC, out in April 2011 (not to mention all the other writing she's got out) with Ed Glazar, a phenomenal photographer. Courtney Summers has been writing since she was one--one!--check for evidence here, and what else could you ask for in a writer, or human being in general? But she also has two YA novels out there, CRACKED UP TO BE and SOME GIRLS ARE. Then there's Tahereh Mafi, who has more enthusiasm in her than one human should be allowed to have. And these are just the agent sibs I know of. I'm sure there are more, all equally cool.

Visit them (be sure to visit Victoria's auction here), buy their books, hang out. Enjoy!

Bouncing for books

2010-04-30T08:56:00.006-05:00

I wish this was a story about trampolines.

A couple weeks ago, I was the guest speaker at a writing event for 3rd-12th graders. It was great. I even saw parents nodding along with my talk. One guy came up to me afterward (a grandpa) and said, "When you put that cup of water on the podium, I thought, 'Wow, we're in for a long one.' But you kept it short and sweet--and interesting!" Big smile from the dude, and no better compliment could I have received.

After the event, I got to sell my books (which is the subject for another post--reconsidering audience). Great, right? Last week I got a note from the bank, and one check had been returned. My bank account is now out $10, plus a $7 fee, and there's the $6.50 I paid for the book in the first place. $23.50 and a free book went to John and Brenda and their daughter (I'm guessing).

Someone said, "Well, call them and ask for your book back! Or the money!" What good would that do? What if these people have no jobs, but they bought their daughter a book for $10 because she wanted it? What gets me is this: did they *know* they had no money, but they did it anyway, for her? Or was it just a gap between paydays and something came up, and they thought they could float, but they couldn't?

I've thought about this situation a lot (not that it's my biz, but writers think about things). Honestly, I am happy to give them a book and pay $23.50 for it. Maybe they really, really, needed one. Maybe they knew how happy it would make their child.

I could be wrong: John and Brenda may be complete scam artists, though none of the families at this event struck me that way. Moms and dads and everyone else were there to honor their kids, beginning writers who were proud of themselves, and the families were proud, too. I can chip in for that.

the smallest freaking random world you can imagine

2010-04-23T08:43:00.008-05:00

When you're from Nebraska, you expect "small world" stories all the time. There's one degree of separation between people--two, max--but sometimes the degree is so close and unexpected that it knocks you out.

This morning I called my hometown to do some business for my dad, and the woman I talked to was nobody I knew--DUN DUN DUNNNN--or so I thought! I still don't know her, but it turns out she was a student of and mentored by the real Elsie Yvonne Callahan, Morgan's grandma in SKY. My actual grandma, the music teacher/piano virtuoso, who taught an hour west of my hometown before she retired.

This woman said the kindest, sweetest things about Elsie, and what an amazing gift for a Friday morning. And SO random and cool. A convo about clown cars? Or migrating snakes? More expected than this conversation.

Then, the person who answers my next phone call is a woman I babysat for when I was 11, and haven't talked to since then, who asked me kind questions about my family.

There is no place like Nebraska. I love it.

Loving on the haters 4: Gunn High School

2010-04-16T07:36:00.005-05:00

Gunn High School in Palo Alto CA had some serious tragedies: student suicides. People jumped in front of trains. And who showed up to help them in their grief, and to protest the fact that they're a diverse, inclusive school? Westboro Baptist Church, of course, since they are uber-supportive of people in times of tragedy. Margie Phelps (daughter of Fred) brought ugly signs and lots of hate, of course.

And what did the Gunn High School kids do? They sang, and protested back with LOVE. Can you imagine? The same thing happened when WBC moved on to picket at Stanford, at their temple. People just loved them instead of hating back.

I admire the hell out of this. If you can love on Fred Phelps and his crowd, well, you are a love ninja. Or a buddha. Maybe even Gandhi. So, your job for today: love on the most difficult person you can find. Enjoy Fred Phelps' "fag-loving country", filled with lovers and haters.

Old news again, I know--it happened in March. But it's worth mentioning. Photo not of the incident--it just has great examples of their signs.

Loving on the lovers 3: libraries!

2010-04-14T07:48:00.005-05:00

Friends! This is National Library Week! And who is on the banner from the American Library Association for National Library Week? Neil Gaiman, my literary crush (who, when I saw him last September, had bedhead and frayed cuffs on his jeans, won't you be mine, Neil?, but I digress).

What is cooler than a library? Not much, in my opinion. I vividly remember my library in Central Nowhere, and the crabby Mrs. George who wouldn't let me read in the adult section (I may have been 12) until one of cool librarians did, and then I was stuck in Stephen King. When we were little, my brother and I lost tons of library books in our book closet. The moment I knew I had arrived as an author: when I found out the Hennepin County Library System (in the Twin Cities, for you non-Minnesotans), had purchased 10 copies of my book. My brain: "holy SHIT, I'm in a library! That book is real!"

Helpful folks, there in the library, helpful with research and/or recommendations. Lots of lively tomes. Lots of peace and quiet and happy patrons. I actually live down the alley from a tiny library, and I don't go there much. My vow is to re-up in my dedication. Have they asked me to speak there? No. Have I volunteered? Twice. However, I will still patronize them for their cushy chairs and their quiet.

Love your library this week, friends. A lot! BTW, the second photo is the Trinity College Library in Dublin, Ireland (school founded in *1592!*). Look close--that's two stories of beauty and books. I got to go last year, and could have stayed for a year. Photo taken by Candida Hofer.

Loving on the lovers 2: Mormons on bikes

2010-04-09T08:22:00.004-05:00

The other day when I was driving to school, I saw guys like the ones in the photo, Mormons out trying to spread their Word. But they weren't doing that. They were jumping their bikes off curbs, laughing, and being totally joyous. Decidedly un-Mormon-ish, far as I could tell. Spring will do that to people.

In general, I try not to speak about religions, because I don't care to offend people any more than is necessary. I honestly don't know if Mormons as a faith are loving. Not my job to speculate. But these guys were loving life, and that's OK with me.

I admire, on some level, Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses (did you know Prince may or may not be a Jehovah's Witness? I used to have a JW student who knew him, and she referred to him as "Brother Nelson," his birth name is Prince Rogers Nelson, wouldn't you just DIE if he showed up on your door? I'd listen to that Jehovah's Witness for hours, provided I could get him off track from Jehovah and maybe get him to sing "Sexy MF" or something). They are dedicated humans, and they walk their talk. I appreciate that. The same could be said for Fred Phelps, of course. But he spreads hate and separation.

Go jump your bike off a curb. Spread the love.

Loving on the lovers 1: Bernice Ellis

2010-04-07T07:56:00.004-05:00

After my rant yesterday, I decided to shape up my act. And really, that rant was mild. Monday night I scared my class when I ranted about haters (or asshats, as I unkindly called them). Last night I hated on abusive Catholic priests for a while, and made myself cry.

But no more! For the rest of the month, here on the blog: loving on the lovers. You may want to tune out if cheerfulness is not your thang.

Today's love situation: Bernice Ellis (91 years of coolness, BTW), local bowling wizard, who's been bowling since 1939 and rolled a 187 at ONE of her leagues last week. And she's blind. Her teammates have to tell her what pins she's hit. Full story here.

I couldn't roll a 187 with gutter bumpers, so Bernice, you have my utmost admiration.

Tune in soon for another appreciation moment! It's cheese wiener, I know. But I like it. And I don't feel angry.

Hating on the haters

2010-04-06T12:39:00.003-05:00

It is so tempting to hate on haters. But if I do that, does it make me any different than them? Probably not. So today is about awareness instead.

First, the folks in Mississippi faked out Constance and her date. Man oh man, this rises to a new level of unkindness--these are grownups punking a teenager. All for a woman in a tux and her girlfriend.

Second, today is a day to remember Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old boy who took his life because he was bullied about being gay. See that picture up there? That kid could play on my son's football team. And he thought his only option in the world was to kill himself. Because he was GAY. And people didn't stand up for him.

When I hear these kinds of things, I want to yell obscenities at everyone and tear out people's hair. Hate makes me feel hopeless. Instead, I try to focus on things like this quote from Constance from an article in THE ADVOCATE:

"Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. 'They had the time of their lives,' McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom].'"

I am going to take a cue from Constance and see the good. I can't quite find it in Carl's story yet, but I will try. Today, when I go home and show my own 11-year-old this story, maybe he'll support a gay kid someday and stop the bullying. Maybe the circle will expand.

But oh, it's hard not to hate the haters.

Vote early, vote often

2010-03-30T18:33:00.003-05:00

Well, I think you can only vote once per computer. But use other people's computers!

SKY is up for a Minnesota Book Award in the category of Young People's Literature, and folks out in the world can also vote it in as the Readers' Choice Award. If you might be so interested (and so kind), you can click here to vote. Voting closes tomorrow at midnight (only open through March). If you've not read the book, there are reviews here (from the book award judges, plus Kirkus and Publishers Weekly) that can help you decide if you want to.

I'd love your help. Yes, this is shameless self-promotion. Thank you.

I have officially lost it

2010-03-27T10:38:00.006-05:00

How do I know this? I spent 30 minutes looking at LOLCats.

I realize this doesn't sound like insanity to most. But net surfing isn't one of my pastimes unless I've left the world of rational thought or am using my mad procrastination skills that I keep in a bottom drawer for emergencies. Today it's both.

Here, for your edification, the best LOLCats I found today:

This cat really looks like an ocelot, doesn't it? Maybe it *is* an ocelot--if that's true, what are people doing with an ocelot in their house?

Same question: why is there a lion on your deck?

I am now going to drag myself back to reality. But the LOLCats were fun. Maybe if I look at them more often, I'd be more sane. Hmmm.

Drowning in music

2010-03-23T18:25:00.008-05:00

Do you do this? I can't be the only one that does this. Though I may be the only one who does it in a Prius, and before you go hating on being fuel-efficient, may I say I drive it like a drag racer, so I'm really not saving much fuel and I'm trying to look cool in a very Mom-ishmobile, and it doesn't work. And it has a crappy sound system. So there. But I digress.

When life looks bleak, my favorite thing to do is really go trash the environment and DRIVE AROUND. It's the Midwesterner in me (I seem to be mentioning this a lot). So I get in my car (favorite car from the past a 79 Monte Carlo Brougham with a huge V-8 and no catalytic converter, birds just fell off the trees, I tell you, and it didn't look as good as this picture, by any means).

Why do I drive around? TO LISTEN TO MUSIC. What other reason would there be?

Nothing makes me feel instantly better than drowning in music. While I drive, I let it wash over me, through me, I let it go inside me. It could be Brother Ali, the Talking Heads, Lyle Lovett, or Lady Gaga, even Bach. The genre almost doesn't matter.

What matters is thorough cleansing. And music sucks out all the impurities, at least for the length of the drive. Best car for music drowning in my lifetime? My 01 Nissan Pathfinder with a Bose sound system. I was really sorry when we sold that vehicle.

I get brief showers on the way to work--it's only a four-minute drive, but it's enough to get me ready for the day, plus it makes me laugh when I pull into school with my Prius vibrating from the bass. It actually scares students, and that's not horrible. Really. : )

GET OVER IT, or girls can wear tuxes, too

2010-03-19T13:50:00.008-05:00

WARNING: screechingly liberal post ahead, and yes, this is slightly ancient news because it's more than ten minutes old, but it's still worthy to talk about. And now we have a cool logo.

OK.

Maybe you've heard about this. A girl named Constance wanted to take her girlfriend Minerva to the prom at at Itawamba County Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi. She hoped to wear a tux, too.

And then the school board said no.

Get out of here. It's 2010. Nobody's going to be harmed by two girls dancing together--one of them in a tux--any more than they're going to be harmed by Internet porn, Dr. Laura, or the American Nazi party. Turn away--don't look. Let people live their lives. What about Bisphenol A in our plastics? What about pollution? What about childhood obesity? I realize all these things aren't comparable, but come on people--what the hell is there to worry about? Moral depravity? Let me tell you about moral depravity--how about run-of-the-mill child abusers, let alone priests who molest children? Step off, moral police.

This is relevant to me for two reasons: 1) I care what happens to Constance, and 2) it happens in my book. In SKY, Tessa wears a tux to prom, and she dances with Morgan, AND SHE KISSES HER. OMFG. Tons of fallout, of course--we need the conflict, people, it's fiction!--but it ends up OK. Nobody dies. Nobody even gets a headache.

If you feel so moved, e-mail tmcneese@itawamba.k12.ms.us and let her know what you think. Or donate to your local chapter of the ACLU. Something. Something to tell people that you'll be OK if two girls go to prom, and one wears a tux.

Why is this so hard? I would really, really, really like to know.

A list of things I like & dislike

2010-03-16T14:39:00.005-05:00

In no particular order, things I like in my life, excluding things like friends and family, duh (I'm reaching for a blog topic today, can you tell?):

1) a quiet house where no one's coming home for a while--like a looooong while

2) my work in progress (yay for not hating it!)

3) interviewing cool people who teach me something

4) peanut butter fudge

5) scarves (I wore them all the time before they were hip, but now I'm hip! Amazing!)

6) my agent

7) my sisters in ink

8) this SESAME STREET clip--I always post this one, but I also like this one and about six thousand others

9) this blog

10) did I mention peace and quiet where no one's coming home for a loooooong time?

11) music like this--any and all of it

Things I dislike, in no particular order:

1) unprovoked, unnecessary anger

2) big things like world hunger and war

3) floods

4) asshole drivers who don't think about other drivers

5) how dirty everything looks after the snow melts

Given that the likes outweigh the dislikes, I'd say I'm doing just fine.

Potluck people

2010-03-12T23:07:00.004-06:00

It's 11:08 right now, so I'll get this one in before it's not Friday anymore. I'm doing better at remembering! And don't you love the P alliteration in this week's entry titles? It also seems to be LOLCats Week on the blog. Sorry.

I don't know about your people, but Midwesterners are potluck people. My mother-in-law, for example, could throw a potluck with a bag of grapes and a pitcher of iced tea. She loved them--still does--the more the merrier, if people just bring desserts, then we eat desserts for supper. And that's actually the key--a potluck should be SPONTANEOUS. Unplanned. No "if your name begins with a Y, bring chips" kind of stuff. Everybody just bring something and come hang out.

Why am I thinking about this? My writing group, my sisters in ink, we had a potluck on Wednesday. What did we eat? Popcorn. And some hummus, veggies, salsa, chips, meat, cheese, and wine. Oh, and mini cupcakes and strawberry shortcake. I think that's all. It was spontaneous, and it was delicious.

Delicious not just because of the food. Delicious because of the relative impromptu-ness of it all (we decided just the day before, and nobody planned), and because Midwesterners like to share food and conversation over weird collections of victuals (or "vittles"). We ate and worked and talked and enjoyed each other.

I'm sure this can't be just Midwesterners who do this--can it? I know Midwesterners are the people who do holiday sweaters (never so well described as by my incredibly writerly cousin Susan), but we can't be the only potluck people. Can we?

Privilege processing

2010-03-09T19:39:00.014-06:00

Today I was talking to someone about privilege, and how I am privileged more than I can even acknowledge: I'm white, middle-class, way too educated, and employed, plus I live in a house, drive a car, have clean water . . . the list goes on and on. And anyone who has darker skin than mine, or anyone in the LBGTIQ spectrum, or anybody without education (to list only a few things) doesn't have the power to affect things in the same way I do. That includes publishing books, which is why I'm thinking about it.

I have a huge interest in writing diverse, multicultural characters. But should I speak *through* my characters? Is it OK for me, with all my privilege, to presume to speak in a first-person voice from the head of a person of color? Or a person who's gay? What about a person with a disability?

Lots of people would say (have said), flat out, NO EFFING WAY. OK, but what if I study a lot, read a lot, talk to people, do my research, be respectful? NO EFFING WAY. What if I acknowledge my privilege, add an author's note, and don't presume to speak for an entire culture? DOESN'T MATTER. WE DON'T CARE. NO EFFING WAY.

There are others who'd say (have said) yes, that's OK, we'll share our stories with you and help you. One literary character doesn't represent a whole culture. We know you'll do your best and treat our stories with care.

Neither group is right, neither group is wrong. I see both sides. My work in progress requires me to ask these questions, as does my work that's looking for a home. Both manuscripts could get me in lots of trouble from the NO EFFING WAY peeps. Am I ready to take it? Do I really want to step in potential literary doo-doo?

I love my characters, and I know what I do with my privilege in my day-to-day life, which is try to jam the cogs of the racist, classist, sexist (add any other "-ist" you want) culture I live in (mwah ha ha, I'm a teacher, I indoctrinate people!). Plus I'm not ready to put my characters away yet. So . . . gulp . . . let the shit grace my path. Here I go.

Graphic stolen from here, a blog that's going on my "to-read" list.

A letter to my characters

2010-03-05T10:45:00.010-06:00

This may sound entirely strange, but sometimes I write my books, and sometimes they write me. Mostly I'm talking about my characters. Sometimes I think them up, but sometimes they come and find me and pound on my head to be let out.

Really weird, I know.

And even stranger: I feel like writing them a letter. So here goes.

First, with love to Morgan and Elsie (aka Grandma): WOW! You are doing all sorts of cool things and going places I never knew you'd go. Someone called you "contrived and unconvincing," but someone else called you "funny, frank,[and] profane-but-literate," so we'll keep the second comment and throw out the first. You guys rock. And I owe you.

Second, with deep deep belief to Gabe, John, and Paige: hold on. Amy and I love you. Keep listening to music. Hold on to Elvis (well, not you, Paige, you hold on to Gabe).

Third, with happiness to Ray and Callie: stop making me crazy! Your story is going in seventyeleven simultaneous directions, and I can't hold it together. But you two are awesome (even in the face of Evil Keisha). I can't wait to see what's next, even if I can't control you.

Fourth, with great anticipation to Haven and Marty; Ian, Ivy, and Darcy; and Taliesin: I know it sucks to wait, and I'm getting there, I promise. Ray and Callie sort of cut in line. : ( But your time is coming, swear to God.

Fifth: Ed! Martha! I know you're in there--I see you. I need an artist to deal with you, and some idea of how a graphic novel works as well how as a middle grade novel works (or maybe a chapter book). I'm a little stuck in YA right now. Sorry.

OK, my imaginary peeps: I love you. Thanks for sticking with me. Thanks for making my life incredibly fun.

Kirstin

Telling the story v. marketing the story

2010-03-02T07:59:00.006-06:00

This weekend I got to see THE LIGHTNING THIEF, which you may know is the adaptation of the first book of the PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS series. Love the series--the whole family has read it (I'm the last to finish, only on book 3, pathetic). Was the film OK? Mostly. I'm a book girl more so than a film-adaptation-of-the-book girl, so it's a given that I'd like it less.

But here's where I object: the book is middle grade, verging to YA. The film is most definitely older YA--a very clear marketing choice.

Why? If you have YAers, you can go to Vegas and really live it up in the casino. You can have more sexual tension. You can be ironic and cool. That stuff is more off-limits to middle graders. There's still an innocence and a sweetness to them, in my opinion, though that's changing more and more. But those things don't sell as well.

Plus, the original book audience was middle schoolers. The rating is PG, suitable for younger kids (wise move), but wouldn't you like to think they'd like to see the "real" Percy Jackson on screen? He's 12 when the series starts, not sixteen and pouty/crabby/crappily ironic all the time! I really didn't like Percy. My heart was with Grover.

If I was Rick Riordan, after I got over the ecstasy of having my book made into a film and I laughed all the way to the bank, I'd be a little sad, because it wasn't really my story up there. I KNOW--it was a film adaptation. But the marketing decision twists the adaptation into something even less recognizable.

Learning to shut up

2010-02-26T16:21:00.006-06:00

As part of my research for my WIP, today I was graced with two hours of stories from a very kind man. He hails from a different culture than I do, so sometimes the rules for conversation are different, as are the rules for listening to elders (which he is). I went in there with my respect in place and my listening ears on. Or so I thought.

At one point, deep in my notes and scribbling along, his comment was along the lines of "you know, sometimes elders don't allow people to take notes."

I put my pen down.

At another point, I said, sort of as a conversation-mover but also as a truth, "Oh, I know that." And he said "well, then what are you doing here?" I am sure I blushed bright red. He followed up that comment with, "If you want other elders to talk to you, don't say stuff like that, or they'll ask you the same question. Just be quiet and listen."

I nodded and stayed quiet.

Stories from other cultures fascinate me. But I need to make rock-solid sure I'm learning them in a culturally appropriate way--appropriate to *the culture*, not me. In this case: shut up. Don't write. Listen.

I was glad for the reminder that my way of understanding the world might actually be disrespectful. I need those lessons. Later this spring I have a big interview with a very respected, rather famous elder, and I really really really really really don't want to screw it up. Wearing duct tape would look stupid, so I'll imagine it--which will also be much less painful. I will probably want to take notes--desperately! But I will just listen.

Then the key part: I must REMEMBER.

Tomorrow's agenda

2010-02-23T19:56:00.006-06:00

Blog friends, this entry is small, but mighty: I NEED TO WRITE. I WANT TO WRITE. I MUST WRITE. Ray and Callie want me to write (they're my protags).

Why? Aside from the obvious reasons (love it, want to make $ at it, etc.)?

NEWS FLASH: there's a lurking ex-girlfriend. Where the hell did she come from? Why is her name Keisha? What does she look like? How did Ray get an ex-girlfriend when he seems so clueless about Callie?

All questions will be answered, I am certain, by some bus passenger in my subconscious who knows what she's doing, though she is not me. I just drive the bus. I don't tell it where to go.

I NEED TO WRITE. I WANT TO WRITE. I MUST WRITE.

I must grade, grade, grade. THEN WRITE.

disR-E-S-P-E-C-T

2010-02-21T10:45:00.004-06:00

I should be clear: the blog entry about becoming an addict was tongue in cheek. I grew up with addicts, currently know addicts, and know that life, and it's not a path I want to take. I also know addicts with amazing recovery stories, and they have all my respect. I intended no DISrespect by suggesting that addiction was cool or fun.

In the face of all those genius works (that sell and sell and sell), addiction looks pretty good. But not really. The trail of destruction behind those literary greats may have been even greater than their genius. As for me, I have skated close enough to the edge to know addiction would be disastrous.

Just to be clear.

And PS: the photo is, if you're not sure, the infinitely fabulous Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin in her heyday, long before her bedazzled hat at Obama's inaugural. Didn't her presence just say to you, "yes, folks, it's a new day at the White House"? Love. It.

Addict = best writer ever?

2010-02-19T15:19:00.007-06:00

I'm doing it, friends--I'm getting back in the swing of blogging! I think I need another theme for March. That might help.

A grad school friend sent me this link to a bunch of great Life (as in Life Magazine) photos of literary friends with teensy tiny drug and alcohol problems. The dude up top (photo in the slideshow) is the wonderful addict Truman Capote, who is rocking some very cute ladies' sandals and is famous for IN COLD BLOOD, the first non-fiction novel (written with help from his friend Harper Lee). There's also the world's worst photo of Stephen King, and some other gems in between. Best list of addictions: "EVERYTHING," attached to Hunter S. Thompson's photo.

Maybe I need to drink more. Or add opium to my list of things to spend time with on a Friday afternoon. Maybe being an addict makes a person more honest, and you call it as you see it, which is an excellent trait for a writer.

I honestly don't think I have time in my life for an addiction, and I'm not independently wealthy. But the number of classics produced by these addicts is more than impressive, and as my friend Kristin says, there's nothing more literary than alcoholism.

Sigh.

Contest winner and suckage, but being open to it

2010-02-16T16:26:00.009-06:00

Hey, friends--I realize I'm fantastically late in announcing the winner of the WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON contest. All entries were awesome, of course. But the winner: ALAINN! E-mail, please, me so I can get you your book. Please also know that I've been so busy the book is pristine---the cover of WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON hasn't even been cracked. Now it's yours, Alainn. Happy reading!

So--I suck at blogging right now. Honestly, I suck at many things right now. And I'm trying something new. Instead of getting freaked out, I'm trying to stay OPEN to sucking. Why? You don't get all blocked up and mad at yourself. You just accept your suckage, and it gets better. Well, you have to apply yourself a little bit. But it does get better.

What do I suck at lately? You name it: teaching, writing, marketing, parenting, housekeeping, the list goes on (is there a word like "spousing"? I suck at that, too). Know what I did yesterday? Put dish soap in the dishwasher. Bad result, if you like your laminate floor to remain intact. Good result if you like suds. Epic fail on my part. Not sure why I can't read and tell the difference between bottles.

But . . . I am OPEN to it, friends. I am ALLOWING MY SUCKAGE. Is this an enormous excuse? No. Suckage still needs to be attended to. But it helps you not feel so bad if you say "wow, I suck. But I'm open to it!"

And, if I stay open, there might be possibilities out there *besides* suckage. So who knows what good things might come through the portal? You just don't know.

Beautiful, open Erie Canal culvert photo stolen from here.

I've got something you want

2010-02-02T07:10:00.004-06:00

Oooh, what is it? Is it really something you want? Yes. Yes it is.

It's an ARC of WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON, John Green and David Levithan's latest, which comes out in April.

Would you like it to be yours?

Then think like Gabe, my music wonk protagonist.

And post (in the comments, of course) the song you feel is The Best Song of The Entire/Your Universe, plus WHY. It's the "why" part that will get me interested--I like a good justification. Doesn't have to be a song I know (I can investigate), and it doesn't even have to be musically astute (ever heard Tom T. Hall's "I Love"? Corny as hell, but it makes me smile every time). It just has to be perfect to *you*.

Ready? Go. Contest open until 11:59 on Monday, Feb 8.

Can't wait to see what you choose!

Teenagers under siege who feel crumby

2010-01-29T10:14:00.004-06:00

As you are most likely aware, if you are a literary peep of any description and/or you read/watch the news, J.D. Salinger has died. An obit here, and funny/serious commentary from the Onion here. Somewhere in the blogosphere, someone said he and Holden C. captured the idea of "teenagers under siege." That teenage feeling is still very clear to me--everybody just GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY FACE--and I still stumble over it today (oops--loner self showing through). And he captured it distinctly. Like someone else in the blogosphere said, we wouldn't have The Breakfast Club (yay John Hughes) without J.D. Salinger. I can't say I love Catcher In The Rye, though I haven't read it for years. But I love the sentiment. And I still don't like phonies.

So thanks, reclusive dude: directly or indirectly, you made edgy realistic YA possible. You made Morgan possible. One last thing: Holden spells "crummy" as "crumby." I am amused to no end every time I read that word.

I promise to be a better blogger from now on. I had nothing to say for a while, and who wants to read a writer with nothing to say?

How a writing career should be

2010-01-22T13:07:00.009-06:00

When I think about my writing career, I want it to be like this photo: heading forward, not jumping the track, maybe picking up goods along the way, with a great whistle to comfort me(seriously, I love train whistles). Steady and sure, I'd just chug along (bonus points if I was a steam engine and could really chug!).

But it's really more like this.

Fun maybe once a summer. Otherwise you throw up a lot.

But then I saw one of these today. And it's still January!

So then I felt hopeful.

And then I saw this dude (he's a mountain goat, I know he's hard to see), on top of a truck that belongs to the crew blowing up the mountain at the Crazy Horse Memorial.

And I laughed my ass off.

Now I'm going to try to catch my train, even though I know I'm still on the rollercoaster. Maybe I could ask the mountain goat to help me. He seems pretty determined.

Teenage boys at their best

2010-01-15T10:59:00.006-06:00

OK, my friends, this is why I love teenage boys: boredom + video camera = fun that gets over 100,000 hits on YouTube.

If you haven't already seen it, see it. Major props to Afternoon D Light Studios! Read more here. And if you want to see their first hit, it's here.

Big trees will inspire you . . . put your mittens in the air!

Cool photos, cool contest, easy way to help

2010-01-12T19:39:00.008-06:00

See this photo? Don't you love it? I do. It's a bit hard to see, but the lovely tattooed knuckles say BOOK WORM. Full disclosure: this is my agent Amy Tipton (woo hoo for me for having such a killer agent!). And the guy who took the photo--Ed Glazar--has the chance to win serious swag and some recognition for his work. Since I think it's important for artists to help other artists (no matter what medium they work in), here's my plea: go vote for Ed's portfolio in this contest. You vote by clicking the stars at the lower left, where it says "rate this portfolio." Also check out his page here. I am a sucker for good photography (when I wish for visual art talent, I wish for a photographic eye), so it's not hard for me to give him 5 stars.

Do your part for artists today! Especially those of us who work our day jobs and wish we could be full-time artists (which is about 95% of us, if not 99%). Not that I don't love you, Day Job, because I do. I really do. But you suck my brain out through your bendy straw (you zombie you), and I don't have anything left for the night job. Ed might have the same problem, so help him out.

Thanks.

Happy birthday, John Burrows, or a study in character

2010-01-08T13:02:00.008-06:00

You might know that today is Elvis's 75th birthday (holy God, can you imagine a 75-year-old Elvis?). I'm guessing, however, you didn't know this: Elvis used an alias a couple times--John Burrows. I can't imagine it actually worked, but who knows?

Elvis used to be in BEAUTIFUL MUSIC--as an actual character named (of course) John Burrows--and John-Burrows-as-Elvis still exists in a short story I wrote, called "Where Would Elvis Drive?", which will hopefully be out this spring in the new issue of THE BLUEROAD READER. John Burrows-*not*-as-Elvis still exists in BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, and Elvis is referenced a bunch of times, but I had to kick his character out because eventually hijacked the book and overshadowed Gabe. Still--wow--was he fun. The most fun I've ever had with a character, actually.

It was incredible to imagine what Elvis would do after he faked his own death: how did he pull it off? Who did he pay to keep it quiet? What does he do now? Does he still eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches? Is he still involved in music? If you're interested in my answers to these questions, the short story will answer them, though in the novel version, Elvis had a karaoke bar in Vegas. Doesn't that make sense?

I think, if Elvis would have lived to 75, he would have become more simple: he would have lost weight, shaped up, stepped out of the spotlight, gotten rid of the creeps around him, and become a country boy again. He'd be a big producer in the alt country scene or in roots music. That's my theory.

Happy 75th, Elvis Aaron Presley, Jr. I loved writing about not/you, and--I couldn't resist the pun--you rock.

New year, new songs

2010-01-05T19:30:00.008-06:00

It's that time again. Reality time. Sigh. Break is always so fast. But I am happy to see YOU, blog readers!

I did get to do a lot of research and writing while not bending my brain with teaching, so New Book is on its way! I also did some iMix-making for my novel BEAUTIFUL MUSIC FOR UGLY CHILDREN (basic plot: guy wants to be a radio dj. Paige and John are support system. Guy is complicated. Life is complicated. Both hilarity and horror ensue). The mixes are songs the characters like and songs Gabe would play for them on his show. The first mix is the show Gabe puts together for his big competition, when he tries to win a job.

My favorite new song this year (in the 5 days we've had a "this year") is "Home," Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, but it's followed very closely by Brother Ali's "Fresh Air" and Cage the Elephant's "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked." (And you can draw on their web site!) Though Brother Ali got left out somehow, the other 3 are in Paige and John's iMixes.

2010 . . . here we go. Yay for all the new writerly things to learn, all the book friends to make, and all the words to rearrange. Bring it on!

12 Gifts of YA #12: Laughter

2009-12-23T09:17:00.006-06:00

I mentioned it before, somewhere back in the early gifts, but I'll say it again: one of the best gifts writing YA novels has brought to me is laughter. Buckets full of laughter. Backyards full of laughter. Snowbanks full of laughter (can you tell I'm waiting for Santa to bring me a snow & ice storm?).

Like the guys in the photo (photo borrowed from here)--you can't not laugh at them. They're trying to convince my Debs 2009 group that their library deserves all zillion of our books (it's our end of the year giveaway, and if you're a librarian, you should enter!). And they're vamping to Erin Dionne's Models Don't Eat Chocolate Cookies. Seriously, now--they are awesome models. Who wouldn't want to hang out with and write about people like this? I have been way too serious for my entire life, so laughter is the best gift I can give myself. My darling spouse was pretty convinced that SKY wouldn't be funny. But then he read it and, very grudgingly, acknowledged that it was. HA! I crack myself up.

Today is also Festivus (the holiday for the rest of us!), so it seemed like a good day to write about laughter.

This post, blog friends, is also the end of the 12 Gifts of YA. For now, the blog goes dark. I've got a manuscript to work on, and holidays to have--including a 97th celebration for my birthday twin, Elsie Callahan! If you don't know who that is, have I got a book for you . . .

See you in January with more blog fun! And giveaways--you have no idea the ARCs on my study floor. Dare I say it . . . John Green?

Here's to 2010!

12 Gifts of YA #11: Rebellion, and/or Sticking It To the Man

2009-12-22T15:55:00.007-06:00

There is nothing better than flipping the bird at someone (metaphorical or otherwise), and teenagers are way better at it than grown-ups are. We tend to remember the consequences, so that gets in our way (for better or worse). But who doesn't love sticking it to The Man, whoever S/He is? I love writing characters who have a seriously degenerate attitude, who do things that piss people off and make people shake their fists in rage. Do these rebels have redeeming characteristics? Sure, and they end up on the "right" side of things, generally. BUT. But. They still need (and deserve) some bad attitude. Everybody does.

When I was a YA, I should have been flipping the actual bird at some people, given how they were acting. Instead I was a good, repressed girl who lived in fear of getting in trouble. Then I got old, and then I didn't care anymore. I don't think I should tell you how I enact my rebellion these days--you might think less of me. But one of my favorite (albeit boring) ways? SKIPPING MEETINGS (unless they're with book peeps). Meetings can be *such* a huge waste of time.

I look like a pretty average mom/teacher/Midwestern white woman, but I'm honestly a late '70s London punk. You just can't see the mohawk. And I think rebelliously, generally in snarky thoughts, but sometimes about stuff like universal health care, and how everyone deserves it. Or I think about ending hunger. Or what I can do to contribute to peace in the Middle East. I am not kidding. Totally rebellious thoughts.

One more gift of YA to go--tune in tomorrow!!

Image gracefully acquired from here.

12 Gifts of YA #10: Romance and Luuuuuuuuuuuuve

2009-12-19T14:30:00.007-06:00

YA romance is a ton of fun to write. But it's also mysterious and challenging, because my flirting days are long over (though we still try). I do love digging deep into the recesses of my brain and finding that airy, goofy feeling that first love can cause. Case in point: 12/22/09 is the 26th anniversary of the first dance I shared with my silly, sweet, charming high school beau. See? I still remember.

I also like untypical YA romance. In SKY, Morgan's neighbor Tessa declares her affection for Morgan by 1) punching her in the shoulder, and 2) shuffling through a back yard of snow to write "MC + TR" inside a huge heart. Tessa stays away from public acknowledgement because she knows both she and Morgan would get the shit beat out of them. In BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, Gabe and Paige get into "I've fallen for my best friend" love--complete with flirting--but nobody knows what to do from there, and the situation is complicated even further by Gabe's trans-ness. In my WIP, there's more cross-cultural love. This stuff matters to me because there are all kinds of teenagers falling in love in the real world and not all of them are typical boy/girl romances.

I chose Ennis and Jack for my photo because I think BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN is the most gut-wrenching love story of the last five years. That kind of unrequited, unavailable romance is something 95% of us recognize, no matter who the players are. Gorgeous film. Gorgeous acting. Heartbreaking story. Devastating emotions. And YA love is tons like this film--beautiful and awful, all at the same time.

I said I wasn't going to talk about emotions anymore, but you have to mention romance if you're going to mention YA. Lately you should mention sparkly vampire romance (gak, eek, no!). But I shall refrain.

12 Gifts of YA #6, 7, 8, and 9: Four Emotions of the Apocalypse

2009-12-17T08:26:00.006-06:00

This post reveals a great mystery. Or not.

In my silly YA world, the 4 Emotions of the Apocalypse are anger, sadness, anxiety, and love. I believe them to be the secrets gift of YA. I haven't heard anyone talk about it--so maybe it's just my own weirdness for believing it's a gift--but writing teenage angst is a huge blessing. I get to channel my drama queen tendencies into my characters' lives!

For grown-ups, the negative three of those emotions can be brought on by myriad sources: bills, spouses, kids, jobs, you name it. GROSS. For YAers, on the other hand, those emotions tend to be more pure, more related to identity and learning about the world and themselves. That purity rocks, because it gets me back to the root of what it means to be human, what it means to be struggling to find yourself in this batshit whacked-out world.

Love is almost more tricky than any of the others, but I also believe that kids as a whole love more purely than grown-ups. They don't see the flaws in people/places/things as quickly as us oldsters. Or maybe they love *despite* the flaws, because nobody has told them to do otherwise.

And the apocalypse thing: teenage emotions go BOOOOOOOM, and I adore it. Grown-up emotions do, too, but other grown-ups look down on us when we let it happen. Grrrr. With teenagers, however, angst is *expected*. Excellent! It's a blast when characters lob nuclear emotion bombs at each other, even if they're *my* bombs from the flat tire or the rude colleague.

Enough posts about emotions, yes? Yes. And I have one day of finals left, and 3 YA gifts to go. I can do this!

BOOOOOOOOOM.
Image shamelessly swiped from here.

12 gifts of YA #4 & 5: Watching and Boys

2009-12-14T21:40:00.005-06:00

I'd better pick up the pace on the gifts, huh? I'm running out of month! Grading has kicked my ass out of the blogosphere.

In any case, two gifts this time. First: watching. I've always been a people-watcher, and (like being an adolescent), now I get to watch people FOR RESEARCH, which is the coolest gift EVAH. It is incredible what you can see and/or hear out there, and watching people always sparks dialogue and/or strange accessories for characters. Plus, I get to watch teenagers--double bonus! In particular, I watch boys. And before you get all smutty in your head, I watch boys because they are FUNNY. Plus they do crazy shit and they don't care what people think. Triple bonus, and a great attitude to have. AND--quadruple bonus--the stuff they cook up to do is JUST PLAIN DUMB. See also: FUNNY.

The kid on the dinosaur is one of the funniest. His name is Kyle. He's the son of some good friends, so I get to watch him often. And, of course, he's now wondering when he'll show up in a book. I tell him it will be soon, because it will be. The kid with Goalpost Mouth is his friend Aaron. Also funny. Kyle + Aaron + my own kid = book in itself.

More to do, friends, more to do, so a short blog entry. But there are more YA gifts out there! I have not yet been conquered by Christmas, the end of the semester, or sheer exhaustion! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.

I am, however, quite punchy and weird at this point.